Previously on Chapter 11
He moves to lay me down and hovers above me. I just close my eyes tightly. I feel his hand sliding off my kimono, making me bit my lips. I can't believe I let this happen... again.
-Numb-
Y/N P.O.V
Tahomaru lay down next to me after he's done. I turn to lay on my side with my back facing him. I flinch when I feel something being draped over my body. But relaxes when I realize it's a blanket.
Tahomaru pulls me into his embrace, pressing his bare chest against my back. I just hold onto the bed sheet tightly, closing my eyes. He pulls me closer, burying his face in the crook of my neck.
"That was amazing, love... thank you" he said. I just bit my lips, trying my best not to cry. His breathing evened out, letting me know that he've fallen asleep. I turn my head slightly to look at him. He still have a firm grip around me. I close my eyes as I start to feel the exhaustion. I let myself drift off to sleep.
***
Tahomaru P.O.V
The sunlight coming from the window wakes me up from my deep slumber. I feel a smile forming on my lips as memories of what happened last night comes into my head. I open my eyes and turn to my side as Y/N lays next to me, still sleeping.
"Love..." I said, gently playing with her hair. She just stays silent, not showing any signs of waking up. I place my hand on her bare shoulder, lightly shaking her as an attempt to wake her up. But she didn't make a move. I can feel panic starts rising within me.
I gently move her to lay on her back. I gently pat her cheek. "Y/N?" I called out. I realize her skin is hot under my touch. My eyes widened as I realize Y/N is having a high fever. I quickly get up and hurriedly put her clothes on. I stand up and rush out of our room.
"Anyone! Call the doctor!" I yelled out. The servants rushes towards me. "What happened, Tahomaru-Sama?" One of them asked. I growl angrily, feeling the panic in my chest intensify as minutes goes by.
"I just told you to do and get the doctor! Y/N's sick! Hurry up!!" I yelled out. They flinch at my outburst and bows at me. They turn around and rushes off to get the doctor. I let out a sigh and turn around. I walk back towards our shared room. I take a seat next to Y/N. I gently run my hand through her hair.
"Tahomaru-Sama..." someone said, lightly knocking on the door. "Come in" I said. The door slides open to reveal the servant with the family's doctor. I nod my head at the sight of the doctor as he bows at me. He walks inside our shared room and kneels down next to Y/N.
I just stay silent as he starts to check on my wife's health. I hold her hand gently, as I wait for the doctor to finish checking her and tell me what's wrong with her.
He turns to look at me after a while. "Well? What happened to my wife?" I asked. He gives me a stern expression. I start to feel uneasy with the stare he's giving me.
"Lady Y/N seem to be having a mental instability. In other words... she's having a depression" he said. My eyes widened at what he said. I turn my head to look at Y/N as she sleeps. She looks peaceful but her body temperature told me otherwise. I bit my lips as I turn to look at the doctor again.
"What can I do to make her feel better?" I asked. He packs his equipment, staying silent for a bit. "The only way to make her feel better is to give her what she needs most" he said. I furrow my eyebrows at what he said.
"What she needs most? How am I suppose to know what that is?" I asked. He let out a sigh and turn to look at me. "I think you do. You just don't want to admit it" he said, he gently places a jar filled with medicine to me. He stands up and bows to me. He turns around and walks out of the room.
I turn my head to look at Y/N. I notice there are dry tears on her cheeks. I close my eyes as I think about last night. The whole time we spend the night. Y/N kept her eyes closed. Her tears streaming down her cheeks. While I only focus on giving myself the most pleasure.
"Y/N... does being with me brought you so much pain?" I said, opening my eyes as I turn to look at Y/N. I didn't receive an answer as Y/N's eyes are still closed. Her chest rise and fall as she sleeps. I feel tears slowly gathering in the corner of my eyes. I blink my eyes as I let them stream down my face.
Time-skip
It's been a few days, Y/N still hasn't shown any sign of waking up. Have I been too harsh on her? I just thought that my action was right. I just want Y/N to be able to love me, as much as I love her. I realize that I was too selfish. I forced Y/N to love me... and ignore the fact that she's a human with feelings of her own.
"Y/N... I'm so sorry..." I said, holding onto her hand. I lift her hand and rest my cheek on the back of her hand. Tears keeps steaming down. "I just want you to love me back, Y/N. I'm sorry I didn't realize the pressure I must have put you through. Y/N, please wake up. I promise I will treat you better. I will love you better... just open your eyes, okay? Please?" I cried out. My body starts to tremble as I cry softly.
I clutch my head frustratedly as I let out a scream. Why do I have to force myself on her? Why can't I just try a softer approach! I should have make her feel comfortable around me... so she can slowly open herself for me. I'm so stupid!!
Y/N... please wake up
*to be continued*
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