Ericka and her husband Shane Walsh have battled heartbreak, walkers, and The Governor but nothing prepared them for what was about to happen next or should I say who was about to happen next
It was around three a.m when Shay fell asleep next to me, she cried herself to sleep as did I. My poor bug, screaming "DADDY!", Is an image I want to forget. Rosita and Daryl tried to help me calm her down but I broke down with her being no help till Rosita and Nabila pulled us both in my room and consoled us both.
I never thought I would be a widow at this age, I sure as hell never expected Shane to die the way he did. Siddiq got there after I left and noticed Shane's chest muscles were strained, he had another heart attack and my dumbass didn't help him cause I thought it was just his usual muscle spasms. Damn it! It's my fault my husband is dead, it's my fault I didn't do anything to help him. Everyone is telling me it's not and this is all Alpha and Beta's doing. Yes they may have played a factor but I know this is on me but next time we run into Alpha, it'll be the one to put her head on a fucking spike!
Today we buried The highway men and Henry at the kingdom, we just got done burying Tara, Enid, Tammy Rose, Addy, and Rodney at Hilltop. Now we are all currently on our way to Alexandria to bury Frankie and Shane.
"Is daddy an angel like my siblings?" Shay asked me in a sober tone sadness in her eyes. "Yes, bug he is. We may not be able to see him anymore but if we pay close attention we can feel is presence, he is watching over us." I tell her as she tries to smile but then her bottom lip begins to quiver. I wrap my arms around her and bring her into me letting her cry as I too cry with her.
"I miss dad-dy s-so much!" She says trying to speak but her voice cracks. "I miss him too bug, I miss him so much.", I tell her wiping her tears as mine fall. "did dad-dy know how mm-much I love him?" She asked me catching her breath. "Yes, baby he did! He said he loves you sooo much." I answered her as she wipes my tears just then Judith moved from where she was sitting on the wagon to be next to us.
"It's ok Shay, my real mom knew your dad since they were in school together. My mom is with him." Judith says innocently trying to console her "cousin" hugging her, which breaks my heart even more since they're really half sisters.
Shay then got up to sit with Rosita and RJ as Judith stayed with me. "If I tell you something you promise you won't be mad?" She tells me hesitantly. "I promise I won't stay mad." I say jokingly trying to pull myself together. "Back at Alexandria when Aunt Maggie would visit, I overheard her and Aunt Carol talking." She says looking down then back at me. "I heard them say that Uncle Shane is really my dad, and that it's best for me to not know, is that true?"
I was shocked, Maggie hasn't been around in two years, Judith's known this whole time? Since the cat is out of the bag I see no use of lying anymore especially since Rick isn't here and Michonne left last night. I took a deep breath and turned to Judith who was genuinely curious with tears forming.
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"When the world became what it is now, your daddy Rick and I found each other in the hospital. I was there cause I was in a bad car accident and Rick had gotten shot... Shane did everything he could to get us out but he thought we were dead since the power went out and the heart monitors went out... Your real mom, Lori was my best friend, I even considered her to be like a sister. Well Shane and Lori, thought Rick and I were dead and they started to be boyfriend and girlfriend but once we were all reunited they broke up and your mom and Rick got back together as did Shane and I." I tell her as she nods wiping her tears
"Your mom was so scared but she loved you so much she gave up her life so that you can be here with us. Rick raised you, he is your father but Shane biologically is your real dad, kiddo... I'm sorry you found out how you did, yes, it was best not to tell you cause your a kid and you shouldn't be worried about stuff like this but I'm not going to lie to you either." I tell her as she hugs me and I hug her back
"I just wanted to know the truth." She begins. ,"Once I found out, I cried because I like Shane more as an Uncle than a dad... He was fun, and he always made Shay and I laugh. That's why I always wanted to be around you all really, so I could spend time with him and get to really know him." She tells me looking up at me with a smile on her face. "Did he want me as a daughter or as a niece?"
"At first he couldn't wait to be your dad, cause I was unable to make him a dad before Shay was born but then he saw how he was changing in a bad way and even though he didn't mean to he was hurting everyone he loved and decided it's better for Rick to be your father.... No matter what, he loved you Judith, he made sure you were always being taken care of... He was also glad he got to spend time with you and got to see you grow up, he was proud of you and how brave you are." I tell her moving a strand of hair from her face. "you look so much like Lori, but you have his smile, eyes, at times stubbornness and definitely his strength and bravery."
"Thank you Aunt Ericka, or do I call you my step mom?" She asked confused but made me smile. "Well, what would you like to call me?" I ask her as I wrap my arm around her. "If you don't mind, I wanna stick with Aunt Ericka until I'm comfortable with mom." She say smiling. "That's a deal kiddo."
We made it to Alexandria, everyone got out of the wagon leaving Shay and I alone. "Come her bug." I say bringing my daughter into a hug. "It's ok to cry, it's ok to be sad, but no matter what your daddy is always with us."
Tears again begin to build up in both our eyes, "daddy wouldn't like to see us cry, I know that." She begins to say "I know he would want us to be stronger, I just want him here."
"I know bug me too, but we will get through this together, I promise!" I say to her as she nods
"I love you mama." She says hugging me tightly, "I love you too bug."
We buried Frankie, we decided to not let Negan attend her burial since she was practically forced to be one of his wives, he didn't deserve to say goodbye to her.
As Daryl, Erick, Ezekiel, Jerry, Gabriel, and Eugene were bringing Shane's box, since we don't have real casket, I clung onto my twenty two necklace and whispered to myself, "por favor amor give Shay and I strength to say goodbye to you and make it through this ceremony." When I felt a slightly breeze that caused me to shiver a bit and move a strand of hair behind my ear, I could've sworn I heard Shane say " It's ok." When I turned to my right of course no one is there, great now I'm losing my mind. (Please love)
