"it's most definitely not a problem. she said she's not suicidal so why keep treating her like she is? all that does is make her want to commit even more." mom spoke simply as she glared at ashton.
"i- "no just get out please. you aren't helping my daughter or i. she's fine right indigo?" mom spoke firmly as she stared up at me.
"of course." i replied dryly.
"then this conversation is over. i need to rest." mom sighed as she rolled over onto her side facing away from us.
i slowly got up and left the room with ashton right behind me.
"so- "no just don't. i'm fine. i'm really fine." i spoke with a fake smile.
"you aren't fine. i can tell you aren't. anyone who looks at the situation can tell." ashton stressed.
"well, you heard her. i'm telling you i'm fine, so leave it." i spoke firmly before walking away from him.
ashton's pov
i went over to luke's office to see him sitting there doing work.
"why is barbra so almost anti mental health help?" i asked slowly.
"why? did something happen?" luke asked.
"yeah. indigo went to go tell her mom she wanted to get some help because last night she confessed to me that she didn't know if she didn't want to commit suicide." i spoke slowly to look for his reaction. "she practically forced indigo to recite to her that she is not suicidal and suicide is selfish. she was saying that thinking and talking about suicide makes you commit and i'm like at a loss for words right now." i vented as i sat down on the seat.
luke stared at me blankly before clearing his throat and talking. "well, she's never been the best at handling mental health. i'm not entirely surprised she reacted like that. do you want me to go talk to her?"
"i would prefer that. maybe go find indigo and go with her because she seemed very upset about this." i replied as i stood up.
luke gave me a firm nod before leaving to go find indigo. i went off to go round on a few patients.
indigo's pov
i sat down in the garden where i found midnight. i felt tears enter my eyes. my mom didn't care if i fucking died.
she cared maybe, but why wouldn't she try to help me?
i pulled my hoodie over my head and knees up to my chest before crying my eyes out.
i felt someone sit next to me softly.
i quickly wiped my eyes before looking up and saw luke.
"ash told me what happened, do you want a hug?" he asked softly.
"no, i won't stop c- luke interrupted my statement and pulled me in softly for a hug where i completely broke down in his arms.
"why can't i just be good mentally. why am i so fucked up mentally." i sobbed into his chest.
"indigo, you're not though. everyone struggles from time to time. that doesn't mean we are fucked up." luke corrected as he rocked me back and forth.
i nodded stiffly into his chest before sitting back.
"i'm going to regret this later, but if i confess something to you, can you promise to keep it between us?" i sighed.
"it really depends on what it is, but for most things, yes i can keep it between us." luke spoke softly.
"i-i this isn't a one time occurrence. i used to struggle a lot. i was so lonely luke. i had no one but mom who was in bed 90% of the time." i whispered.
luke shot me sad sympathetic look before nodding.
"i understand. i'm sorry i left." he whispered.
"it's okay, i forgive you. 50% forgive you. just don't leave me now." i spoke softly.
"i promise i won't." he smiled softly.
i nodded.
"so, i was thinking maybe you and i could go talk to your mom to see if that would make a difference." luke spoke slowly.
"i don't know about that, but i guess it couldn't hurt to try." i mumbled before standing up.
we walked over to my mom's room and walked in slowly. she was sitting up again on her phone.
"oh gosh indigo, now what?" she spoke slightly annoyed.
"barbra, maybe counseling could help her with her emotions? i heard what happened with ashton and i just want to make sure that- "shut the hell up luke. she's my daughter. you don't get to say anything regarding her mental health." mom spoke firmly.
"i'm not trying to butt in and undermine your opinion, but she needs help and if you won't give it to her then we have a problem." luke spoke firmly.
"you don't get to decide that. you fucking left me and her. so don't say shit regarding how she is now." mom spoke with tears in her eyes.
"i'm fine, let's just leave this for now." i spoke quickly before leaving the room with luke.
before luke could respond i spoke, "one battle at a time."
"fair." he nodded.
"also, you have an appointment with calum. a physical just to make sure everything is going okay and such." luke spoke.
i froze. my scars. i couldn't.
