Detective Freak

Ch.29: The Will To Go On

I immediately snapped my head to look at him. I searched for any signs in his face that he was joking, but his face was entirely serious.

"No, absolutely not." I shook my head fast, knowing what my uncle was referring to.

He breathed out, running his hands through his hair. "Ari-"

I cut him off. "No, Uncle, I'm not talking to them. There's absolutely no way that I would talk to them."

"But you want to know, right? Listen, I'm not telling you to become a happy family. I'm just saying that you should sit down and hear them out."

"I think I already know what's important. Why can't you understand, Uncle? You might be able to forgive them, but I have nothing to forgive them for. I don't know those two. They are just some strangers now. I don't have a mom and a dad."

I was practically shouting at my uncle's face, and I could feel my eyes tearing up by mentioning the subject. But I refused to cry in front of my uncle. I had cried too much in front of Christian.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have shouted at you. I know that you're just trying to help, but... it's just that... I'm sorry," I whispered.

He shook his head and wrapped his arm around my arm, making me rest my head on his shoulder. "Don't be. You're just tired of all the shit going on."

"This is just fucking messed up," I whispered as I tugged the blanket around my shoulders closer.

My uncle tapped my cheek. "Language," he cautioned. "And, I know that it's been hard on you, sweetheart, but..." he pulled his arm back, making me lift my head from his shoulders and look at him. "I think you should ask yourself this; what would Sherlock do?"

His question snapped something inside me that had been locked for a while now. It's like there was something I had forgotten about, and Uncle's question made me remember it. I looked at my uncle, and he was getting up from the bench.

"Think about it" He winked at me before leaving me sitting on the bench, feeling like an idiot.

I sat alone, staring at the grass beneath me, feeling like punching myself in the face. Suddenly, I placed my hand on my forehead and started laughing. For the first time in many hours, I laughed at how stupid I was.

I'm sure that if anyone saw me laughing with myself, they would think that I was crazy. How could I be this stupid? How could I forget about the most important thing right now?

"What would Sherlock do?"

How could I forget about you? I'm sure you were laughing at me while I was crying over my parents, weren't you?

What are you doing, Ariana? This isn't the time to wonder how you would feel regarding your parents being alive. This isn't the time to sit down and pity yourself. This is not what Sherlock would do.

Finding out that my parents are alive isn't a silly matter, but this wasn't the time to be thinking about it. I need to finish what I had agreed on doing. I need to finish what I promised myself I would do.

Gibson Black is still out there with the drug, and right now, I should be thinking of nothing else but finding him and protecting the people in danger because of the drug. This is what I need to do. This is what I have to do.

This is what Sherlock would do, put others above him. And I have to put my friends and everyone in danger above my feelings.

I need to stay strong, no matter how devastated, hurt, and empty I feel. I need to find the will to be brave for my friends. I need to find the will to go on.