Sanders Sides Descendants AU

Chapter 21: If Only

"A million thoughts in my head... Should I let my heart keep listening?" I sang quietly, causing Roman to look at me in surprise. "Cause up 'til now, I've walked the line, nothing lost, but something missing..." I continued, looking towards Roman and hesitating. Roman smiled, but didn't say anything. Probably because he didn't want to stop me. "I can't decide, what's wrong, what's right. Which way should I go...?" I sang as Roman stopped to help me over a fallen tree.

"If only I knew what my heart was telling me. Don't know what I'm feeling, is this just a dream? If only I could read the signs in front of me, I could find the way to who I'm meant to be... If only..." I sang, standing closer to Roman as we walked down the trail. "If only..." I sang quietly before looking up towards him. "If only..." I murmured as we arrived at a bridge.

I looked nervously at the drop off below, and Roman smiled as he let go of my hand and began to walk across the bridge. He turned back to me and walked backwards, as if to show me it was safe, then held out his hand. "Every step, every word, with every hour I am falling in." I sang before running towards him. "To something new, something brave, to someone I, I have never been." I sang, running into him and wrapping my arms around me.

"Couldn't decide, what's wrong, what's right. Which way I should go..." I sang as he spun me around, causing me to hold onto him tightly. "Now I finally know what my heart is telling me, I know what I'm feeling, but is this just a dream?" I sang as I looked into Roman's eyes. "Trying hard to read all the signs in front of me. Can I find the way to who I'm meant to be? If only..." I sang as we began to walk down the bridge together, my arm wrapped around his.

"Am I crazy? Maybe we could happen..." I continued, looking around at the view as my heart raced. "Will you still be with me when the magic's all run out?" I sang as we reached the end of the bridge. I hesitated, looking longingly at him as he waited patiently for me to continue walking. "Now I finally know what my heart is telling me... I know what I'm feeling, but is this just a dream?" Roman and I sang together. "If only I could read the signs in front of me, I could finally find a way to set you free..." I sang quietly as we continued walking down the forest trail, causing Roman to look confused.

"If only..." I murmured quietly, looking down and stopping.

"Hey..." Roman said softly, gently placing his fingers on my cheek. He traced them down my jaw, and gently lifted up my chin. "If this is anyone's dream, Virgil, it's mine." He whispered, leaning closer and allowing our noses to touch. "I've always wanted to find love, and I've finally found it with you." He whispered. But what if it's not real love? Like... Yeah, you flirted with me before the potion, but that could have been a joke. I thought, trying not to cry at the thought of it.

"Virgil?" Roman asked gently. I backed away from him and looked down, feeling guilty. "Sorry... I'm just... nervous..." I muttered before looking back up at him. "The last time I liked someone, it didn't go so well..." I admitted as we continued to walk down the path. "He was Captain Hook's son, and... when Mom found out I liked him, she... She forced him to date me... it was awkward, to say the least... I ended up having to pretend I lost interest in him just so I could break up with him without my mother punishing him." I told him. "That definitely sounds... yeesh." Roman commented, probably not wanting to say anything too bad about my Mom in case I got defensive. "Yeah..." I chuckled. "Not her best moment, but... I think she had good intentions?" I admitted hesitantly. "I'm sure she did." Roman agreed.

     I smiled at him to show my appreciation. I know my mom probably... probably doesn't actually love me... Or, at least, the way she shows her love isn't healthy if she does... but it's nice that Roman doesn't shut me down when I'm holding onto the hope that she at least tried to love me... Just, in her own twisted way.