Sanders Sides Descendants AU

Chapter 10: Surprisingly Thankful

Remus's POV
(Warning for PTSD episode, Trauma Response, Panic Attack, mental breakdown, self deprivation, slight toxic masculinity, and description of child abuse)

     I should have known. I should have known it wasn't that simple.

     As I ran across the track, and down a walking trail beside it, my surroundings kinda became... blurred? Like, I could see where I was going, I could see I was running into a forest, leaping over logs, trying to lose the large dog running after me... but I felt like I was in the Isle. I could hear my mother's laughter from behind me, even though she wasn't there. I could hear several dogs growling and barking as they bounded towards me, even though there was only one.

     I remembered leaping through tires and mazes as I leapt over and weaved around trees. I could feel my heart race, and my breath become rapid, and my instincts kick in. As the dog persisted, I leapt up and climbed up a tree, clinging to the branches as the dog set down the ball and leapt up, his paws on the tree as he barked at me. While his fur was brown, images of white fur with black spots came to mind. While his bark was playful, more aggressive ones sounded in my thoughts.

     "Remus, I am incredibly sorry." Logan called as he and Roman finally caught up, both heaving for breath as Logan called over the dog, who he called Rocky. Mom had always just called them her mutts.

     "Remus, please come down. He won't hurt you, I promise, and we can't help you when you're up there." Roman called gently. "Is it over? Did I pass?" I asked, trying to sound calm as I hesitantly sat up on the branch. "Yes, Remus, but the dog wasn't part of it I promise. Rocky saw you and wanted to play, that's it." Roman assured me.

     I watched Logan get grip on the leash, and he asked Roman to take Rocky's leash so he could comfort me. Roman agreed, walking towards them and holding Rocky back, both by the leash and by kneeling beside the dog so he could keep an arm around him. I still can't believe how easily he can do that... Not even Mom can handle her dogs so easily.

     "It's safe. He won't hurt you." Logan assured me. I nodded, and hesitantly climbed down.
     As long as the dog was on a leash, I should be okay...

     Once my feet touched the ground, I sat on the ground and hugged my knees. Despite my determination to seem calm and unbothered as I have been trained to do, I couldn't help but collapse. At least I knew when Mom was going to sick the dogs on me. At least I was able to prepare. I hadn't been prepared for this, and I didn't have a clear path or goal lined up either. I know this wasn't done purposely, but... it was just so much harder to act strong.

     Logan didn't scold me, however. He didn't even laugh or tease me like my friends would. Not even an inspirational pep talk like Virgil would give me, no telling me to man up like Remy, no praise for doing well like Janus would offer. Logan just quietly sat down in front of me, legs criss crossed and hands resting on his lap. We sat there in silence for awhile as he thought about what to say, how to approach this. It was... nice... scary because I wasn't sure what he'd do, but... nice.

     "Remus?" Logan then said softly, the tone causing me to look up in confusion. His dark blue eyes studied me carefully, and I felt my heart flutter and my breathing slow down as I stared back at him. "That... Wasn't part of the try out?" I asked hesitantly. "No, Remus, it wasn't. Rocky saw you playing and he thought you wanted to play with him." Logan explained. "Oh..." I murmured, wiping my tears with my sleeve. Dammit, I'm crying. I thought bitterly before growling at myself.

     "Can I have your hand?" Logan asked, offering his own. I looked at him in confusion for a moment, but nodded before placing my hand in his. I felt warm when our hands touched, and felt oddly calm despite the electricity that was buzzing up my arm. Logan gently traced his fingers in a circle on my palm, making the electricity worse but my breathing more even.