Book of Burning Random Insanity

Untitled Part 202

I finally got my phone and SD card fast after saving up (and probably stealing from parents and relatives and such)

But then that's just the end of good things....

Guys

Hahaha. Dreams shattered XD that's all. Dreams shattered.

Mom and dad didn't care about my achievements... the ones I worked hard for just to prove them... I don't want to type what they said..

I...

I promised if this didn't turn out well, i'd jump off a building right?

I won't. I promise ^_^

But now I want to give up on writing.

Its no good.

I learned a lesson that's only meant for me. For me, the world doesn't care if I try. Only be successful.

But you know what?

HAHAHAHA FUCK YOU

THINGS LIKE THIS DROVE ME INSANE, WORLD! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOU.

I'm sorry I can't be perfect like my sister.

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so so sorry

I'm never gonna start having dreams again.

They just make me desperate and destroy myself... if you wanna see, take a look st me. Worn out inside and physically. I've done more damage than necesarry to myself. And look.... all for nothing... I failed you guys... right?

IVE GONE INSANE THANKS TO MY FUCKING DESPEEATION

NOPE NOPE NOPE

IM TIRED

But I'm not gonna quit forever.... I have to regain what I lost. I don't know what I lost...

What even made me start writing?

It was because you wanted your parents to be reading those books you right and be placed on the highest shelf that you tried to reach as a child, right Pyro?

I don't think I can make it.... after all. There are plenty of writers out there who need that place more than me. I just worn myself out.

Teased as a kid for not understanding my own language.... thinking I'm some sort of rich kid or someone who's on a high place. That's why I get kicked down.

I wanted to prove something for once that I can do something right. Writing is what keeps me sane, writing is the one thing I think I loved that doesn't seem like I'm copying my sister.

I want to be original. I wanted to be known as Pyro or Jessica. I wanted to be known for me. I want to he known for me. Not as Jemima's little sibling to follow her footsteps.

Not so damn failed copy

A failure

A desperate bitch

A sharp tongued cold hearted Jemimawannabe

A failed copy

Bit I'm thankful I got support. I'm sorry guys.... I'm so sorry I could just let you down like that.

Like I let you down a lot of times.

Hahahaha

Just look at pathetic me.... I look comical struggling like the weakling I am. I'm tired now...

I even try to regain my sanity trying to keep a family together.

You know what... screw me...

Guys in PokePadders. I wanna speak right now.

I'm trying so hard everyday to try to keep you all together. I log in everyday by stealing my brothers precious IPod and get beaten up for sneaking in to get to the computer. I check on all of you everyday. I even once almost killed myself of all this insanity

Please guys I beg of you. I don't know anymore but please keep your fucking shit together! Here I am trying to tell you all that.

Why am I doing this you ask?!

I'm lonely everyday, okay? So I try to brighten your days

But then I fail... i can't do it on my own.

I do what I'm good at.

Fail again

Fail again

Fail once more

Another failure

One

Two

Three

How many failures?

A lot of them.

Hahahaha.

HAHAHAHA PLEASE STOP IT! IT HURTS! PLEASE STOP! HANDS STOP CUTTING MY WRISTS AND TIGHS. MIND STOP TEMPTING ME. HEART PLEASE STOP BEATING. EYES STOP TRIVKING ME

OM GOING INSANE. PLEASE STOP

I'm sorry I wasted your time... I'm sorry. You dont have to read or comment. I'm fine now

I'm sorry.

And please guys. Leave me alone in PM... you can't keep tellibg e forever that I'm weak and affecting people with my rants... do me a favor and go to hell please

I'm tired