VAPOR (Sensations 1)

Chapter 14

-What the fuck happened yesterday...? -I whispered, staring at my face as if it wasn't even mine.

I didn't remember anything that happened after taking that bath, I don't know what I took that could've made me forget everything and make me feel so bad. I turned around to look at the bathtub, the it was still filled with water, that was light pink because of my hair and the bath bomb I used, but nothing that could explain what happened. Even more confused and concerned than before, I left the bathroom to go back to my room so I could look for any clues on what the hell was the drug, or drugs, I used, but there was nothing! The situation changed the moment I got into the dressing room... Almost all my underwear was out of the drawers, some of my clothes on the floor, as if someone had been looking for something in there, but I don't remember if anyone came here yesterday, maybe it was just me searching for my drugs, because those are the places where I usually hide them, but I only had my normal joints. At least that I thought, until I saw that box. The box that almost ruins me. I took it and saw two things inside, a clear little bag, almost full with a white powder and three cigarettes where there used to be four...

-This gotta be a mistake. -I said, feeling how my eyes became watery. I was starting to have a panic attack.

I left the box on the floor and started to search for the missing cigarette, but it was nowhere to be found. God, this couldn't be happening. I know I didn't touch the powder, because I'll never forget that sensation, but if I smoked that... Fuck, please someone tell me nothing bad happened. I don't even know how I got to my bed!

Feeling like I was about to explode, I got out of the dressing room and sat on the edge of my bed, passing my fingers through my hair, desperate. What am I supposed to do now? I extended my hand so I could take my phone from the bedside table, but suddenly felt like there was a paper and turned my head to look at it. A letter. I took it, suspicious and started reading it, that was my only hope to finally know what happened.

"I hate to leave you like this, but I don't think it's right to stay either. Please, call me when you wake up and see this, I need to know you're okay or I will go crazy. I'm really worried about you, Moon, and what happened today isn't normal, so please, please, talk to me, it's okay if you only call me to tell me that you don't want to see me ever again, but I need to know you're okay tomorrow morning. I'll be awake if you need anything, so don't hesitate on telling me and I'll be there.

Ps: you told me you wanted to sleep, that's why I brought you to your room.

Please call.

Calum. "

The ink started to fade away with my tears as they touched the paper and my hands were shaking really bad. I couldn't control my breathing. Calum was here... From all the days he could've come, he came yesterday! God, this was wrong. I don't remember a single thing about what happened and now you tell me that the person I've been trying to avoid for days, because the idea of being next to them hurt me, came to see me in my worst moment?! Now he might not want to see me ever again, he may now hate me! I don't know what I did, I don't know what I said, what if I told him everything?! But he wants me to call him... Fuck, I'm the biggest mess right now, more than I was before. A part of me wants to call and tell him that I need him by my side because it's like I can't breathe if he isn't near, but the other part of me wants him to be as far as possible of me because I don't want my feelings to keep growing.

I miss him. I miss him so fucking much that it hurts. I'm going crazy because of something that it's supposed to be beautiful, but it's not because I don't want to feel like this. I don't know how much time passed since we last saw each other, but I know that my heart felt smaller every day I spent away from him. I thought I was used to pain, used to the feeling of losing someone, but this... I've never felt pain like this before... I guess that only love can hurt like this.