My Only Sunshine

Chapter 31

The next morning, I got my apartment cleaned and began looking for another job.  I applied at a bunch of bars and gave up on my dream of being a psychologist. I can't help with myself let alone anyone else.

After that stuff was done, it was time for me to head to the clubhouse to see the kids. I took my car because I couldn't ride on my motorcycle without thinking about Jax. When I pulled into the parking lot, I wanted to leave immediately. But I had to do this for the kids. I got out of the car and took a deep breath as I walked inside.

"Hadley!" The kids screeched with smiles on their faces. I gave them the biggest real smile I could muster.

"Hi guys!" I hugged them tightly.

"We've missed you!" They said sadly.

"I've missed you guys too." I said, trying to figure out the words to say to them. I might not be around anymore.

"Mom says you and her are fighting." Ellie said sadly.

"And dad says you're not Uncle Jax's girlfriend anymore." Kenny added sadly.

"They are right. It just means I may not be around as much. As long as your mom and dad are okay with it, I'll still take you guys for ice cream and stuff, but I'm not going to be hanging around here anymore." I saw Ellie begin to tear up and it shredded my heart more than it already was.

"But we'll miss you!" Ellie began to cry.

"I know baby girl. I'm going to miss you too. But what I need right now is to be away from here." I began crying as well. Kenny hugged me tightly and Ellie joined in.

"I guess she told you huh?" Opie questioned as him, Donna, and Jax walked over.

"Why did you guys have to hurt aunt Hadley, now she won't hang out with us as much anymore and it's all your fault!" Kenny blamed them.

"Kenny," I started to tell him not to blame them but Jax interrupted me.

"Sometimes people make mistakes. You can apologize but sometimes it isn't enough. It can be too bad to come back from." He explained to Kenny. My eyes welled with tears once again.

"Kenny this doesn't mean I love you or your sister any less. I just need some time and space for a while." I said and he nodded sadly. I took a breath and sat down. I considered telling them the truth but ultimately decided against it.

"For the record, my mom is sorry." Ellie said sadly.

"Thanks Ellie, but right now I'm too hurt to forgive anyone." She nodded sadly. "Look, I better get going." I finished.

"Can't you stay a few more minutes?" Ellie began to cry and I wanted to cry with her. I hugged her tightly and held her for a few minutes.

"Everything will be okay baby girl." I said softly. A few minutes later, I let go and walked out of the clubhouse.

When I got back to my apartment, there was a note left on my door. It read, "I'm so glad you didn't tell them, I'm coming for you." I felt my heart race.

I got inside and locked the door. Now panic set in. I could only blame myself, they were coming for me, because of me. I'd be looking over my shoulder until they came.

I just tried to move on with my day. There was nothing else I could do. So I checked my email to see if anyone had emailed me back about a job, which there was nothing yet.

So I watched movies until dark and then crawled into bed. The next morning, I woke up to my phone getting a text message.

I looked at who it was from and the name read, 'Jax <3'. Man, I really needed to change that.

The text read, "I know we're not on speaking terms and I don't blame you. But, we need to talk."

I had wondered what he was talking about. So I hit the call button.

"Hey." My heart broke more at the impersonal greeting. Usually it would be, "Hey, babe or hey darlin."

"What do you need to talk about?" I questioned.

"How are you?" I snorted.

"Is this what you called me about? Because I am not having this conversation with you." I was angry, but I suppose I was allowed to be.

"No, I didn't call about that. I called to see if you knew anything about anyone threatening crow eaters?" My mouth dropped in surprise. He cared about the crow eaters but not me?

"Why would I? I haven't been around any of them." I tried understanding why he wouldn't care about me but he did them.

"Are you threatening the crow eaters?" He sighed as he asked the question.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Jackson? I have barely been around the clubhouse since last week when you broke things off. I haven't seen any of the crow eaters since before that. If it's because all the ones you've fucked have been threatened then I don't know what to tell you. Keep your dick clean and maybe you wouldn't have this issue!" I was livid at him.

"Darlin, calm down. I just have to ask everyone." Jax tried using his charm on me.

"Don't call me that." I snapped which hurt me even more to say.

I heard him sigh into the phone. "Look, Hadley, I'm truly sorry for what happened. I shouldn't have left you."

"It's a little too late." I hung up the phone and cried until I couldn't anymore. Eventually, I passed out from exhaustion.

The next day was the worst I could have expected.