My Only Sunshine

Chapter 24

Days had passed and I had heard nothing from my father. I was grateful and scared. I knew he had stuff planned but again, I was in another situation that had nothing to do with the club where I was looking over my shoulder. This made my sleeping sporadic and uncomfortable. I spent most of the night watching Abel sleep. Jax had tried to be there but the tables had turned and now I was pushing him away. I had contemplated cheating on him to get him away from my fucked up family. I also didn't want to hurt him. 

He is my dream guy. He's caring, sweet, thoughtful, passionate, and loving. Although he can be a bit of a jerk sometimes, he's always worked things out and I didn't think I could do that to him. I sat alone as Jax slept in our bed. Abel slept soundly, his chest rising and falling with every breath. I felt overwhelming emotion. I silently cried next to Abel's bed until I couldn't cry anymore. By that time, I knew Jax would be awake shortly, so I made some coffee and breakfast. 

He stepped into the room shirtless with sweat pants hanging low on his hips. I smiled at him but my eyes showed I hadn't slept. "Morning." I said softly. 

"I know you didn't sleep Hadley." I sighed at the words he spoke. 

"I can't sleep, knowing he is out there. I contemplated life last night and tried to figure out a way to get you out of this. Neither you, nor the club, needs this shit." I told him as I grabbed a mug and then the coffee pot. I poured the steaming bean blend into the mug and handed it to him. 

He sighed to himself. "I don't need out of this Hadley. I don't need to be out of your life. You don't need to be out of Abel's life." He stared me down. 

"Jackson, I am dangerous to be around, especially for your son. Someone has already tried with him just to get to me and I won't have him get hurt because of me. That would destroy me. And you." I ran my fingers through my hair. I felt the anxiety building up in my chest and I wanted to cry more after my whole night of the waterfall. 

"Hadley, you are my old lady and I am not going to let anything happen to you or our son." My eyes went wide as he called me his old lady. In some way, the things he said, like the wife comment, I always knew he felt that way but he had rarely vocalised it. 

"Jax, I-" I began to talk and he cut me off. 

"You are it Hadley. You're not leaving. And neither are we. If your father has an issue, too fucking bad. I'll kill him before I let him touch you." I took the cup of coffee from him and set it on the counter. I wrapped my arms around his neck and his went around my waist. 

"Jax, I'm terrified. He's manipulative and cruel. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened because of me. You're all I've got. If he messes with you and takes this away from me, I'm going to do something I shouldn't. I will end up in prison or in a psych ward and there is no in-between." I spilled my guts to him. He continued to hold me while I talked. It was his way of showing that, no matter what, we were in this together. I was grateful, but the sense of dread remained. 

A knock on the door pulled us apart. He walked to the door and opened it. He let the person on the doorstep into the house. Happy and Opie emerged from doorway. I smiled at them. "Good morning guys. Coffee is ready if you want some." 

"How you holding up?" Opie asked me to which I lowered my gaze. 

"I can't sleep. I spent last night watching Abel sleep." I said as I turned to grab a couple of mugs for Happy and Opie and knocked a glass off the counter. I tried to catch it, but I wasn't quick enough and it fell to the floor with a smash. It was something so insignificant, but as soon as the glass shattered, I felt myself scream out, "Fuck!" 

"Hey babe, it's just a glass, no worries." Jax tried to make me feel better, but I exploded on him.

"It's not the damn glass Jax. It's everything. My fucked up father is back and he's probably going to try and rape me again. He's going to put a wedge in between us. He's going to take you and the club away from me, I can feel it. I can't fucking handle that. He's going to do what it takes to break us up and although you tell me, there's no way in hell you'll let that happen, he's manipulative and he'll figure out a way. He's going to make it look like I cheated on you or something. He'll make it look-" I was hysterical and that was when Happy cut me off. 

"We will always believe you, Hadley. Your father is not going to get his way, no matter his intentions." Happy said softly, somewhat shocking me, that he was the one to say that. 

"What he said." Jax said, grabbing the back of my neck and kissing me softly. I calmed down a little and then grabbed the broom and dustpan. I swept up the glass and threw it in the garbage before getting Opie and Happy their coffee. I sat at the table and stared down into my mug. I decided it was time to get ready for the day. I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth and then brushed my hair. I applied some makeup to cover up the bags under my eyes. Once I finished my makeup, I straightened my hair and then went to get dressed. As soon as I was in my normal clothing, I felt slightly better. My poor excuse of a father was not going to take anything away from me. 

I wasn't going to let him.