* for they'll be long gone*
Not much time later, I turned 31.
And happy birthday, Bi.
You have nothing now: not anymore.
No family.
No love.
No children.
No money.
No job.
Congratulations: one wouldn't believe what you've made of yourself.
....
And I thought back, to what I used to tell myself: I don't want to end up like my mother: madly in love, then disrespected and forgotten, when another younger woman came along.
Yeah, uhm.
Good job, Bi.
Really good job.
...
In a bittersweet mood, I had come to the end of my internship.
The hospital that had been my house for the past five years, was no more.
The job that had been offered to me, but I had turned down to have more time to spend with my (now, inexistent) family, it had been given to someone else.
And I wasn't offered again.
I still got the house, yes: but there was mortgage to be paid.
And I, had no job.
The house was also in need of replenishing what Theo had eventually taken out: appliances, our computer, and such.
Our car- I mean. His car.
Unfortunately, I didn't have any savings on my account: not one, single penny.
All the savings we had, were on Theo's account, and he had taken those with him.
...
I didn't see Theo again, for... I guess, it was over six months.
And I didn't hear from him.
He never opened any of my messages, nor answered my calls.
I tried again: despite it all.
I was aware that he probably simply did not want to talk to me.
He probably was just enjoying his relationship with his new girlfriend.
I didn't mean to become his stalker.
I knew that.
But he had cut off his friends, as well: apparently, no one had heard from him.
I reached out to his family: his mother, and Daniel, and Emma.
They said they were also shocked, and that he hadn't given them any explanation either.
Something didn't sit right with me.
I was worried for him.
That was not Theo: it was too out of character for him.
His behaviour was extremely weird.
He really appeared to be in some bad mental state. Unable to talk normally.
Unlike I ever saw him, even when he was seriously distressed.
And then, cutting himself off from everyone...
And there was the family history, as well.
His father nervous breakdown; although that, had an evident cause.
Years and years of physical illnesses.
But still.
It was a significant history of mental illness in the family. I knew something about it, considering my own family history.
And then, Daniel: just a couple of years prior, he had dumped his beloved girlfriend Lisa, out of the blue, with no explanation.
And he had never been the same, ever since.
...
I didn't really know, if it was something that ran in the family.
But I was terrified, it might be.
I didn't want to become his stalker, but I couldn't let Theo go without even a word; without even trying to manifest my love for him, and my worries. Or the fact that I was there for him, if he ever needed me.
Besides asking our friends and family, I had also tried to physically go to the unit where he worked. He avoided me, of course, but I talked to some of his colleagues. They said he hadn't said much, to them either.
I didn't know what else to do.
I sent him more messages: if it bothered him, he could simply ignore them- as he did.
But I needed to make sure that in case he needed me, he knew I was there.
I was haunted by the idea that he might be actually suffering, and not in his right mind.
I couldn't abandon him to his fate. Wash my hands of him.
I had promised him: for better or for worse. In sickness and in health.
Sometimes, I thought that it had been premonitory of him: to ask me to say our vows out loud, like that.
Sitting on our carpet, that day.
As if somehow he knew, deep down.
That worse would come.
And sooner that we had expected it.
YOU ARE READING
Let's hope for the best
Non-Fiction... but prepare for the worst. When I was a kid, I thought that life was going to be like a Disney movie. Then, alas, life happened. And I found out, I was not ready for it.
