Let's hope for the best

Chapter 32: Closing the circle

The following months, the Covid situation improved slightly. We were allowed to travel again, and see our families.

Theo had gone back to his usual job, and was very, very relieved.

He was feeling better, in those months. I noticed that he wanted to go out more and more. He was hyper-active.

It was like... he really tasted death in those months, in the Covid unit. And now, he just wanted to live.

As much as he could.

...

Finally, we could pick up planning our wedding again.

And weddings had become somehow like houses had been before: a race.

Many of our friends were getting married in the same period.

Who was going to have the best one?

No couple wanted to fall short, to do less than others had done.

And we didn't have that much money, after having renovated the house: so, we had to plan carefully.

We visited a few locations, and found one with a huge garden, that wasn't too expensive.

We agreed that it could be the one... but we needed to wait until Covid regulations would allow for big parties to be held.

We didn't want to skimp on how many guests we would be allowed to have.

...

And in that period, I really didn't have much money on my bank account.

It was mostly me who took care of the house needs: paying bills, mortgage, go grocery shopping. If we needed something new for the house.

Most of our savings were on Theo's accounts: the savings for our wedding. 

My father had told me to make a shared bank account, to pay for everyday expenses. So they would be divided equally. But I didn't really care. Why would we bother? Who cared if the money was on my account, or his?

I didn't care in the slightest.

....

And then, the next few months were just work, work, work. Sometimes up to 7 days a week: it was happening more and more often.

I was exhausted.

And Theo was getting tired of that life.

He loved his job, but-especially after Covid- he wanted to have some time to live the rest of his life as well. To be with his partner, his family, and friends.

One day, we had a talk: our last year of internship was beginning, and we had to decide what to do with our future.

We decided that we were going to leave the hospital, after having finished our internship.

It was not easy for me: that was the job of my life.

The hospital was my second home- my first, very often.

I loved my colleagues, and my patients.

But it wasn't all sunshine and roses.

The head physicians of our Units were often treating us like slaves. The shifts were never ending. The public health system was slowly crumbling down, and we were impotent witnesses.

We thought that maybe, working in a private clinic, or in a private practice... we could have been able to have better living conditions.

To work normal hours; to rest, sometimes. To be with our family. Our kids- as we were so looking forward to.

And so, when a few months later I was offered a 3 years contract to keep working in the hospital after my internship, I turned it down.

....

And we did the math, and realized that if we were going for a private practice, I might not have a paid maternity leave, for a few years.

That's how contracts work, in our country.

If I was to get pregnant before the internship was over, instead, I was going to have a few months of paid maternity leave.

But we were still planning for the wedding, and we couldn't rush it because of Covid regulations.

So... what to do?

Well.

I didn't really care if I was going to walk down the aisle with a baby bump. Then our baby would be participating in the celebrations, as well.

Or we could have just postponed the wedding a few more months.

The baby was the priority for us, not the wedding.

And months of paid maternity leave were such a good opportunity for us, to start our family without the worry to be able to make ends meet.

So... it was settled:

we booked an appointment with my gynaecologist, and I felt something warm, squeezing my chest.

We were really closing the circle now.