It was a cloudy spring Sunday, and I was covered in paint from head to toes.
Not like that, Bi!
Theo stopped me.
You must let it dry before you go over it again. You're leaving streaks all over!
I moved some hair away from my face, leaving a white streak on my forehead as well.
We were painting our spare room: we had painted the whole house a few years prior, but we hadn't tackled that room yet.
But now, the time had finally come.
That room had been our study/junk room for the past 5 years, but now, we wanted it to be ready to become the nursery room.
In case *fingers crossed* we were soon going to need it.
And anyway, it was in dire need of a fresh coat of paint. But boy, had I forgotten how difficult it was!
It was not the painting itself: but climbing on the ladder, running tape all over doors and windows, cleaning the paint rollers.... All of the side jobs.
Eventually, when we finally finished, we put down the brushes, and we took a step back, to admire our job.
Our fingers brushed against each other's, and intertwined.
As we admired that empty, freshly painted room, that held so many promises.
So many hopes.
Ready for he next chapter of our lives.
...
By that evening, we collapsed onto our sofa, exhausted.
With paints still drying on our fingertips.
We flicked through Netflix, and eventually, I don't remember why, we settled for one of our cult 90s movie.
I don't remember if it was on regular TV or Netflix, but, anyways.
I snuggled up against Theo, and laughed through the first 30 minutes of it.
And I know, I know, you're wondering. What is a place like me, doing in a girl like this?
But after a while, I was starting to feel... emotional.
Theo was running his fingers absent-mindedly along my forearm, and I snuggled even closer to him.
- You know... this is the last movie I remember seeing with my mom.
I told him. He slid his hand down, to intertwine his fingers with mine again.
- Were you allowed to watch this stuff?
I shrugged.
- I was obsessing over ancient Egypt at the time. I couldn't miss it.
A lump was starting to form in my throat.
- You know, sometimes I... I just wish she could be given like, just one more hour to spend in this world. My mom. To come down here, and see the persons that we have become. My brother and I. And... to say goodbye. I never really had a chance to say goodbye to her.
Theo kissed my temples.
- I wish she could meet you, as well...
I told him, and he smiled.
- You think about her a lot...
- I... well, not a lot. I just... I feel like it is my responsibility to keep her memory alive. She only lives in our memory now. Well, my memory, really. My brother was so young, he barely remembers her. My father doesn't care.
Theo buried his nose deeper into my hair.
- You know... I was thinking.
- What?
- In case- if the planets align, and all- in case the baby comes, and it's a girl.
- I think it's gonna be a boy, anyway. I don't know... I feel it.
- Yeah but, in case it's a girl. I think.... Diane would be a very pretty name.
My heart skipped a beat.
My mom's name.
- I like it, really.
Theo insisted.
- It's one of my favourite names. I haven't told you because I thought it would be too emotional for you.
I shivered.
- I... no, like, yes. I think it would be too emotional for me... yes.
He nodded.
- Alright... doesn't matter. Let's just hope it's a boy anyway. We'll never settle on a girl's name.
He chuckled.
We had chosen a boy's name already: it was a favourite for both of us.
But for a girl, we couldn't pick.
I had a feeling, anyway: he was going to be a boy. Theo said he didn't care, he wanted both.
He kept joking about the things he'd do with them: he'd buy them miniature gaming chairs, and their own little computers, and they'd be an unbeatable gaming team.
Theo and the kids: our very own team.
...
*And darling I will be loving you, 'til we're 70.
'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen.
Baby your smile's forever in my mind, and memory...*
ВЫ ЧИТАЕТЕ
Let's hope for the best
Документальная проза... but prepare for the worst. When I was a kid, I thought that life was going to be like a Disney movie. Then, alas, life happened. And I found out, I was not ready for it.
