Let's hope for the best

Chapter 8: Plans

It was not easy for me: I felt very, very guilty.

I felt like going to med school was like leaving my little brother.

And yes, truth to be told, it was.

I chose a job.

More than a job: a passion. A calling, that I couldn't control.

I chose it over my baby boy.

I still look back and wonder if I made the right choice.

I don't know, but I did: I made my choice.

For the first time in my life.

I did something for myself, for my future.

Knowing me back then, it seemed unbelievable. So out of character for me.

But that... I couldn't describe it otherwise.

It was a calling, I could not help it.

So, I took the test.

I passed, and I enrolled into med school.

...

The first few months, were a torture.

I was that close to running back home (I was still living home, but travelled every day to a nearby city; I was out all day long).

My little brother was throwing fits any time I left home.

He tried to hide my things so that I wouldn't go.

I feel horrible... up to this day.

I came back to him every night, and I told myself, even most mothers have to work.

I wanted to take him away, away from everyone. To be with me only; but I would have had to work all day, and who would take care of him?

It wasn't a possibility.

I had to study.

And one day.

One day, I will have my work.

My independence.

My family.

One day...

....

Economically, it was not easy either.

My father had agreed to pass me a small sum.

I don't know why he made that choice: overall, he was starting to change, I guess.

I've later found out, that they had gotten professional help, after the birth of my baby brother. For the severe depression they had both fallen into. His wife and him.

Was it that, or they had finally grown up, I don't know.

Or was it that all of their friends' kids were going to University, and they didn't want it to look like their kids wouldn't.

It would look bad for them.

I don't know.

Actually, my father- the one that never said anything to me apart from that I was a disgusting little brat- went around boasting with friends, about how good I was in my studies.

As if... I don't know. He wanted to show off that he did nothing wrong, and that his kids were perfectly fine- more than fine, they were bright little geniuses.

I don't know, anyway.

These are just my speculations.

But thus, under all the worst possible omens, my University experience began.

And little did I know!

My life was going to change completely, once more.