To Be a Broken Smile (sequel to Tumbling Down - DM Fanfic)

Winter Break Begins (Ch.40)

We left at 12:10. We got here at 12:40.

And Dad doesn't leave until 1:30.

I pretend everything is fine, and that I'll miss him and everything, but as soon as I see his truck go down the driveway, I tell Mom I'm leaving.

Mom: You just got home.
Me: I have things I need to take care of.
Mom: Sounds pretty important.
Me: Sounds pretty sarcastic.

She doesn't make another comment as I leave. I don't even put my coat back on.

~*~*~*~*~*~

In the past 12 months, I've spent exactly 3 with him. It's all my fault, but I push the thought for the time being. I just want him to hug me. I'm running out of time for hugs.

Tyler: Hey, we have all the time in the world.
Me(muffled): Two weeks isn't-
Tyler: Stop with that. We have summer too, at least.
Me: But I still have to go see the stupid doctor and support group and stupid-
Tyler: Do you have to go back soon?
Me: With my parents the 23rd. No group until New Year.

Tyler nods and pulls me close enough to kiss my head.

I tilt my head up, pushing up onto my toes. He kisses me, pushing me to a wall and picks me up by my legs. His hands run up and down my sides while my arms hang off his shoulders lifelessly.

I just want to keep feeling him. I haven't had a hand to hold for months. But I have one now.

Maybe things will be alright. For at least a little while.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Mom: I think she's been fine. And I'm not just saying that because she's sitting here. From what he's told me, she's doing a lot better.
Dr.Parks: Do you think she's okay going back home?
Mom: I mean I guess. The thing she got upset over was a girl who isn't bothering her anymore. I thought we got that figured out.
Dr.Parks: Mackenzie, how have you been sleeping?
Me: Fine...?
Dr.Parks: Was there ever a time you weren't sleeping so well?
Me: Yeah but that was ages ago. It was because I was worrying about Kayla. I'm done with that.

He nods and writes something down.

Dr.Parks: And have you been stressed to what levels you were before-
Me: I'm fine! I don't see what the huge deal is!
Dr.Parks: It would be shorter to make sure you are perfectly 100% than for you not to be and you relapse.

I roll my eyes.

I don't see myself staying home.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Me: I need to prove to them I can handle dance and school simultaneously! Pleeeease can I have a solo?!
Abby: I don't have time to choreograph one, I'm sorry.
Me: Then let me do an old one! They won't know!
Abby: Your mom will. She'll tell your doctor.

I groan loudly and walk to the opposite wall. I bounce back, hands now landing on Abby's desk.

Me: Make me use a different costume, give it a different name, maybe change a couple little parts? Please! I need this!
Abby: Gianna!!!

I pray Gianna is still on my side for everything. She comes into the tiny, white-walled office, her voice coming from over my shoulder.

Gianna: What?
Abby: How much time do you have on your hands this week?
Gianna: Not much. Why?
Abby: Take an old solo of hers. Mix it up a little and call it something else. I have no time to do it.
Gianna: How up to par are you still?
Me: Enough to win at Sheer.
Gianna: Fine. You getter get in Studio A now for group.

I just excitedly and race out the door.

The familiarity of dancing in this room is so comforting. It's almost as if my body recognizes this floor, because my bones seem to move perfectly without me telling them to.