To Be a Broken Smile (sequel to Tumbling Down - DM Fanfic)

Two Pieces (Ch.22)

Do I stay or leave? He's really quiet, which I can take as dangerous. But I don't want to leave him alone. And I don't want to be alone.

I sit on his bed still, silently cursing myself out for sleeping in history. I have a test tomorrow and have no clue who these people are. They both have really obscure names that I can't even pronounce.

Tyler: Does your mom want you home anytime soon?
Me: She doesn't care if I come home at all.
Tyler: Yes she does, my god.
Me: Why are you so pissed off?
Tyler: I'm not pissed.
Me: You are. Don't even try to lie to me.

I get up and walk towards him. Going behind him, I get close enough to wrap my arms around him.

Tyler: Mackenzie, please go home.
Me: I don't want to.
Tyler: Mackenzie, I'm serious.
Me: So am I. I'm not going anywhere.

With every attempt he uses to get me to leave, I just hug him tighter.

When he tries to physically push me off, I just cling to him more and more.

At some point, he's carrying me, my face in his chest. He smells the same way he always does; of safety and something distinctly male. But he doesn't feel the same. He's rigid, his heartbeat is too fast. This isn't him and I don't like this him. I want the other him. Whichever one he thinks he is now doesn't want me around. I know it's better than to get upset, but if it gets him to talk to me, by all means. My muffled voice is just barely audible.

Me: Why don't you want me here?
Tyler: It's not that and you know it.
Me: I have absolutely no idea what's going on. You were fine. Then Mark wanted something. And then this.

I sniffle. I don't really know if it was intentional or not, but he better believe I'm upset, feel unwanted. Because he knows I can be so overly sensitive about stuff like this. Because he knows how much he means to me.

Tyler: It's a lot at once, things that are happening. I can't keep up with it.
Me: And why is that so bad?
Tyler: If you haven't noticed I'm the one who has to hold this family together.
Me: No you aren't. This family isn't what you've seen or heard in mine. That's a toxic wasteland over there. Which is why I love it here. It's different. And peaceful. And not what I've known since I was 6.
Tyler: I've been used to this for three years. It doesn't look as terrible as it did before.

We're getting back to the topic of his dad. Some big, deep, dark secret that he holds. Even though it's already been exposed for so long.

I don't know what to say for a while. I shift my head to the side so I can breathe better, but I need to be able to see him a little.

Me: They've all done their mending. You haven't.

Now it's his turn to be quiet. For whatever reason, I can sense him introverting back into secret-land.

I shift a little so I can hold onto him better.

Tyler: I don't need to mend anything.

That was way too long of a pause to for it to be a no as a response.

Me: You know what I'm talking about. And that I'm right. You can't avoid that forever.
Tyler: I can for as long as possible.
Me: And what good will that do?

He stays quiet, and sets me down.

Me: Don't do this.
Tyler: I don't want to talk about it, Kenz.
Me: I'll remember that the next time you make me eat an apple.

I start gathering up my homework. This is useless. He isn't gonna say anything other than to leave.

I start shoving everything in my bag. Loudly.