The next time I ride in Tyler's car to school, I can definitely tell things are really different.
Like, really different.
I don't hit the radio button. I don't tap or sing along to anything.
I mess with the ends of my sweater until I'm freed.
36 days until Broadway.
Broadway.
It still doesn't seem real. Well, nothing seems real to me anymore. Like everything is fuzzy, a blur, dreamlike, muted.
But this Tyler thing really keeps me awake. It's like every part of me shut down, except for where Tyler is stored.
I go up to his locker after I go to mine, not even sure why.
Tyler: What do you want, Mackenzie?
He never uses my full name. Never, ever, ever.
Me: I don't like this.
Tyler: This, what?
He's not even looking at me.
Me: I know you're mad or upset or scared or whatever about me, and...what I did...but-
Tyler: I don't care. You said it was over with. I decided to believe you.
Me: Then what's with the third degree?
Tyler: What are you talking about?
Me: You won't...
I push his shoulder so he turns to look at me.
If I learned anything about him, it's how to read his body language. Anything he said he wasn't, he is. He is mad at me. And upset with the cuts. I am too.
But I don't tell him.
He hold an awkward conversation until the warning bell.
Tyler: Lets not be late.
He walks past me without a kiss or a hug or anything.
Me: I love you.
Whether he heard it or not, I don't hear him say it back.
That one single thing burns through my brain for the painfully long homeroom. And until I get a chance to get the hall pass from my science teacher.
I rush toward the bathroom, locking myself in the far stall.
I unzip my jacket pocket and take out my metal weapon.
I start to cry, against all the judgment I have.
My brain is telling me he doesn't love me. I know he doesn't love me. Who would?
No rational part of me is working anymore.
I push up my sweater - which thankfully is a dark color - sleeve forcefully.
My body falls against the wall, my shaky arm held out, ready to take the blows.
My wrist is still scarred, but the pinkness is less severe. Looks like I'm changing that.
I can't think. I can't breathe. I just cut.
~*~*~*~*~*~
He almost killed me, but he saved me all the same.
I guess you just have to give Tyler time to be mad. Because he's a completely different person now, even if I'm not.
He kisses my temple, holds me in his arms.
Tyler: It'll be fine. I know.
He's back. The confident-in-everything, strong, comforting presence. I lean against him more, my head on his shoulder.
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To Be a Broken Smile (sequel to Tumbling Down - DM Fanfic)
Fanfiction***SEQUEL TO TUMBLING DOWN*** Mackenzie Ziegler finally put a stop to the text messages that ruined her year. Maddie and Kayla have been sent away, and it is all perfect. Or so she seems. What she first thought was just a coincidence, turns out to b...
