The First Day (Ch.33)

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Two days later, after being out in weird chat groups with kids who are apparently like me, I get to go home. Well, to Dad's.

But I don't go to my room. There's blood on the carpet. Memories. I can't.

They're always around me. Constantly asking if I want food or am cold or thirsty. Eventually I just scream at them and tell them to leave me alone.

I don't want or need anyone.

They're all making too big a deal out of this. It was an accident.

Tonight, I'm going to Dr.Parks again. With Mom and Dad. And when I do, it's much more uncomfortable than when I woke up to my razor in my face.

Dr.Parks: So I've been talking with Dreves and - even though it is all up to you two, of course - maybe it would be a good idea to have Mackenzie live with you, for a while.
Dad: With me? I-
Me: No!

That comes out without my wanting it to, much louder than I expected it to.

Dr.Parks(calmly): Mackenzie, this could be a good way to lessen your stress and not be around such bad influences.
Me: No! No, no, no. What good would it do me to be around nobody I'm comfortable with, just like when last school year started, not going to dance, having to be in my room all day everyday? No! I won't-
Dad: Kenz, calm down.
Me: I don't wanna calm down! This whole thing is stupid!

I get up and storm out, finding a nearby sitting room to calm down in.

*Melissa's POV*

Dr.Parks: We can go get her in a minute. You should expect several outbursts from her in the next few weeks.
Kurt: We've already seen a couple.
Dr.Parks: She's a teenage girl on overreacting hormones. It's going to happen.

The doctor writes on papers in his manila folder.

Dr.Parks: So, do you think part of Mackenzie's problem could do with you two no longer being together?

Kurt and I look at each other, shaking our heads in unison.

Me: I mean, we've been divorced for ten years. She's used to him not being around.
Dr.Parks: A father is the first male role model a girl will have. It's a crucial part for her to have.
Me: I get her over there every summer and winter break. If she has a weekend off dance she's over there. I know it's not much but it's not nothing.
Dr.Parks: And it is good. I just think maybe a different home setting, with a different parent may have s good effect on her. Whether you agree to it or not. The decision is yours.
Me: But dance. The dance team is elite and she's been with them for ten years. The group has already lost so many dancers due to graduation. Dance is her world.
Dr.Parks: Does she want it to be?

I never thought of that. Does she even like it still? She's not 7 anymore.

*Mackenzie's POV*

Me: But I don't want to leave!

Dad brings the rest of my bags downstairs. My room has nothing of mine in it now.

Dad: It's for the best. And it's not permanent.
Me: But Abby! I can't leave her! And Kendall and Clara! I can't do that! Abby will hate me! And our team!
Mom: Abby will not hate you. Calm down. We've already talked to her.
Me: NO! WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!
Mom: Kenz, just-
Me: No!

I run.

But where do I go? Tyler, my brain registers, but just as quickly tells me to slap myself.

I go past his house anyways, running towards the park, falling into a steady rhythm.

When I get there, I fall into a swing, and just lie there. The seat pressing against my stomach.

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