The 14th Concubine of a Harem King

Are You My Maid or My Mother?

Lorora

"You're the most beautiful person I've ever met! I don't care if the king doesn't see it, or your peers or your family. I see it! You're perfect, like a full moon on a clear night! You're everything a princess should be. No one holds a candle to you, why can't you see that?"
Her words play on repeat in my head and my heart pounds. I hide my face under a blanket and tighten my grip on it. I can feel my face flushed. She said I was beautiful. She said I was perfect. She compared me to the moon like a poet would their love. She looked me straight in the eyes and saw someone I've never seen before. I get up and look at myself in the mirror. Same plain brown hair, dull grey eyes, tan skin, crooked teeth. I still have my small breasts and no curves to break up the flow of my square upper half. My upper lip is thin and my eyelashes hardly existent. My nose has a bump on it at the bridge and my chin pokes out further than it should. Plain. Plain. Plain. My arms are muscular, my legs gangly and skinny like a chicken's. My whole body is nothing to write home about. Like the type of woman you see laboring under the sun on a hot day in a field. I know this. I've always known this. So why does Sayra, the most stunning person I've ever seen, believe so strongly that I'm beautiful? How could she possibly see anything pretty in me? My face flushes again so I rush back to my bed and hide under the blanket.
Maybe I should at least take another look at Umbeg. Sayra was so convinced I could transform the town into a prosperous and happy place. A sudden wave of insecurity comes over me. Sure, I've helped many towns back when I lived with my father but I simply gave the king information, advised him what to do, and told him how to do it. I always hid behind his shadow and nobody knew who I was. What if I mess everything up and it's my name on it? I swallow hard and bury myself deeper under the blanket.
"Are you alright in there?" It's Yalise banging on the door.
I jump, startled.
"Y...yes,"  reply crawling out of my blanket as she opens the door to see me on my bed, my hair all over the place and my eyes a little red along the edges.
She puts her hand on her hips. "Alright, out with it."
I lower my gaze. "The king wants me to transform Umbeg," I say softly.
"That's not good," she clicks her tongue
"And...." i pause.
"And?"
"Sayra called me beautiful."
Yalise sighs. "Is Sayra involved with this business?"
I nod. "She wants me to help the town."
"Did she tell the king to give you that job?" Demands Yalise.
I blush, why is so annoyingly smart. "She was likely involved..."
Yalise frowns. "And you got angry with her so she called you beautiful. Is that it?"
I shake my head. "No! Yes...sort of..." I break off. "I'm not sure how involved she was but I know she does want me to help Umbeg."
"You already plan to do so but under your alias," says Yalise coming and sitting beside me on the bed.
I nod. "I know, but it will take months to get even close to anywhere with it that way. If I use my authority as royal concubine and princess I can transform the place in less than a year!"
"Rory..." she puts her hands on my shoulders forcing me to look at her. I play with the white linen and lace duvet cover nervously with my fingers.
"Do you want to be a part of their game of power and thrones?" She says, her stern green eyes piercing me.
I shake my head. "No... but I can't hide forever, can I?"
"That's why you married King Garnam in the first place," she snaps. "Why don't you go back to your pond and spend some time with your fish. You escaped Aryalia to avoid the power struggles of your siblings. Do you really want to get involved with power struggles between the queen and the concubines? You know if it's known you transformed a dead beat crime ridden town eyes will turn to you." She motions for me to come closer. "You know that gardener who you forgot about and left on that bench?"
I nod, embarrassed.
"Two of the other concubines came by your house while you were out. They said Sayra sent them to ask you to join them for a game."
"What about it?" I ask.
"If you invited him in and tended to his wounds yourself they would have seen you. Rumors would start about you and that gardener," she says. "Sayra was trying to trap you and see if you'd repeat the same mistake you made with her, only this time with witnesses and a more incriminating person."
"How did you learn this?" I ask, my hands shaking.
"I heard Fyria talking about it when I was passing by," she says. Her eyebrows knitted and her lips downturned.
A big tear rolls down my cheek and I angrily wipe it away. I'm so stupid. Why do I get myself so caught up with her? Why do I let my emotions become to easily swayed.
Yalise pulls me close and embraces me. "Remember what kind of person Sayra is. Remember the first day you met her. She got to her position by manipulating people and preying on their weaknesses. Don't play her games or be fooled by her pretty act."
I shake my head. "No, she's not that bad. She really does have good in her. She saved me from those soldiers! You weren't there! You wouldn't know!"
"I've watched you grow up, repeatedly hurt by your siblings because you saw the good in them, Rory!" Yalise snaps. "I don't care if she had a moment of kindness or weakness, she still is what she is. She specializes in making people love and trust her and then exploits them. Will you sell Aryalia's secrets to hear her tell you you're beautiful again?"
I shake my head. "You don't understand, it's not like that!"
"I do understand! You are just refusing to acknowledge the truth!" Yalise says.
I slap her. "Are you my maid or my mother!?" I say, standing to my feet. "I'm the princess and I'll do what I want without my maid bossing me around telling me I'm stupid!"
Yalise touches her face. I've never slapped her in my life. "Rory..." her voice catches.
I feel a pang of guilt. "I'm not going to betray my country, but you need to learn your place, Yalise. You've been with me since I was a child but I am not your daughter."
"This," she heaves a deep shuddered sigh. "This is exactly what Sayra wants. To separate us. To cause us to fight."
"No," I reply. "You're doing this. You aren't trusting me or allowing me to use my own judgement."
She nods. "You're right, I'm sorry, Rory. I know you've grown up a lot over the years. But I feel protective of you because of how kind and soft your heart is. You forgive far more than you should."
I pick up my coat and go to the door. "I am what I am. I can't help it. Neither you, or Sayra can change my nature."
With that, I walk out of my bedroom, leaving Yalise in my room with a red cheek and her own thoughts.
"I'm going to my pond to think," I call back and leave the house. My thoughts are swirling around me head. On one side I have Sayra telling me to overcome my fears and take control. On the other side I have Yalise telling me to hide and that Sayra is manipulating me. Both are right. But where does that leave me?