The 14th Concubine of a Harem King

Sayra's Mask

Sayra
I sit on the bed, my legs curled to the side and exposed. My cleavage and shoulders showing with a few strands of hair falling into it. I widen my eyes hoping that she might at least think a little bit about a woman this way.
She approaches me and I lower my eyes to my shoulder wondering if she might immediately take the opportunity I'm giving her and slip my dress off my shoulder completely.
She snaps her fingers in my face. "Sayra, stop being an idiot and look at me!"
I swallow hard and look up at her stern face. She glances at me pitiably. "You manipulate the other concubines to sell their secrets to the king, you humiliate any of your peers whenever you want to, you isolate people from their loved ones in order to control them, you tried to frame my maid for a crime she never did, you set children up to get bullied, and now... you are trying to seduce me."
"Is it... working?" I look up at her pleadingly.
"I'm not going to kill you so don't sell your body to me just yet," she says her lips twitch impatiently. "Killing you would make me the black sheep of the harem. All I want is a peaceful long life so disposing of you would be counterproductive since you are so popular here."
The cold logic of her response chills my bones. She pats my dress back over my legs. "Pull your dress up properly and you should keep your hair up like a noble lady does with a pin. It's only proper for a married woman to dress according to her status," she scolds and I watch her every move intently. Her mouse brown hair has a tiny little curl by her forehead. The rest is pulled back and held with an ornate pin. Her neck is long and slender and the edge of her collarbone peeks out from her modest white dress. Her fingers are strong and before I know it she's tying my hair up like I'm her doll. It takes me a moment to snap back to my senses.
Her eyes meet mine and she pulls away. "It's painful to watch you bumble around trying to act your status when you don't know how. I couldn't help myself but to scold you. You are a married woman and my peer you should dress and act like it," her stern expression makes me feel like a child though, I'm certain I'm older than she is.
"Don't you hate me?" I saw quietly.
She sighs. "I do until I see how pathetic and childish you are. Then I just want to fix you up properly and keep you out of trouble."
Anger finally wells up inside me. "You aren't my mother, I'm probably older than you!"
"You're an idiot, Sayra!" She retorts back without a pause. "You're not the first person I've met like you in royal and wealthy houses and their ends were almost all the same. Listen to me, or don't, but when a peasant tries to meddle in the nobility business they don't live much longer to tell the tale. Peasants are easy to manipulate with money, easy to silence and the perfect people to put the blame on if anything goes wrong. I'm the least of your worries here," she frowns. " and since when did you think meddling with royal children was a good idea? Enabling their bullying and poor behavior. Do you think that they won't use those nasty habits you taught them on you one day when they have all the power in the world?" She asks sincerely. "And royal children hold long grudges. If a second prince ascends the throne whose head will he want? If the first prince ascends the throne, who will he need to silence about how he kept his siblings under his shoe?"
I feel the color draining from my face.
"Do you understand now? Do you seriously think by playing these stupid twisted games that you will rise to power? The moment they discover you're true intentions the other concubines will despise you and call for your head. The king won't protect you, he will paint you as a manipulative whore who schemed the whole thing out of greed and overambition."
"... I know!" I cut her off.
"So why do you do this?"
"Because gambling is what I do best!" I snap back. "Gambling is what I know. If I succeed I'll marry a Duke, become a duchess and no one will look down on me! If I fail, I die. But I'd rather die than live the rest of my life in that rat infested gambling hall paying off my stupid brother's perpetual debts!" I spit. Strong confusing emotions rising to the surface. Words I haven't spoken to anyone since I arrived here. It takes me a moment to realize what I said and I quickly cover my mouth in shock.
"So the king isn't your end goal? Why play around with the dynamics of royal siblings if you have no intention of bearing the royal heir?" She says facing forward on the bed beside me.
"...that was Ulishi."
"You take orders from the queen too?"
I nod. Why am I telling her all this? I feel an intense need to explain myself to her.
She facepalms and shakes her head. "What nightmare of a harem have I gotten myself into?"
"Ulishi is the secret behind the king's power," I admit. "He doesn't oppose her because her beauty is only outmatched by her intelligence. That's why her will comes first," I pause. "No one can hear us, right? You won't tell them I told you?" My heart pounds. I just put myself in the position I put the other girls in and despised them for it.
She sighs. "I already have more than enough information to bring you down even without insight on the inner workings of Garnam's palace. But you must stop these games if you want to survive. I'll only bring you down if you cross the line again, as you did today."
"And what should i do then? I'm already in too deep," I reply. "You tell me what not to do but never tell me what to do instead."
"Because you got into these messes by yourself so why should I help you get out of them?" She says without batting an eye.
"You're heartless!" I whine.
She rolls her eyes. "It's not my responsibility to protect foolish vixens. Giving you a word of warning is far more than you deserve."
I frown. Why did I talk to this girl? "All you know how to do is criticise!" I snap. "I could never afford to have your morals so I had to climb my way up! If I'm successful I can get out with money and power, if I fail I die, but my life was as good as worthless to begin with. You're just some rich princess who thinks you can look down on others who have to bow and scrape and struggle while you judge us!" My eyes widen and I quickly cover my mouth. What did I just dare to say.
She bursts into laughter. "Good job!" She pats me on the back with an unpredictably strong hand. "You've taken your mask off and said you're honest feelings, forgetting the power I can weild over you and told me the truth!" She keeps laughing.
My face grows hot with anger. "I hate you!"
She keeps laughing. "Alright, alright. I'll help you. You have to do as I tell you though and adopt a little humility." She wipes her eyes. I hate her so much but I've never seen her laugh. The heat in my cheeks settles down into my stomach and I feel an unfamiliar warmth when I glance at her gleeful face. Shit, whatever this is, I don't like it.
"Bring all the royal children to meet me tomorrow when they are done their lessons. Be clever about it and don't send them all at once. Then follow shortly afterwards," she says.
"Even Harlym?"
"I'll get Harlym since he won't speak to you now," she replies. "We shall resolve this issue and I shall show you a better way to deal with royal children so nobody gets assassinated in ten years." She chuckles. "Now go clean yourself up and wear something a little bit more dignified. Your beauty far surpasses the rest of us here but your flashy dresses and loose hair takes away from it. Expensive doesn't always mean good. With your hair color, shades or softer colors will set off your complexion nicely. You have a lovely neck so show it off more and try to highlight your natural beauty. You attract the attention of nobility if you behave as if high status fits you like a glove. You just seem silly to everyone apart from the harem, that is why no Duke or lord has attempted to seduce you from the harem as of yet."
I swallow hard. Her criticism stings but she knows what she speaks of. Even with her plain appearance she has an attractive air of dignity and nobility. Or perhaps, that's just my perception of her. When did she turn from fish girl to awe inspiring princess in my mind? After she slapped me? My face feels hot again. I haven't felt like this since I was 13 when I first met a pretty young lord's daughter. She played with me while her father lost all his money at the tables.
After I reached the palace I learned she'd died of fever. Even nobility can't escape that. The last time I honestly cried was the day I found out. I search her soft grey eyes. She kind of looks like her, now I think if it.
"You may go now," she says. "I will give you more direction tomorrow."