Living

Chapter 35: Breakdown

This chapter is dedicated to my mother, the woman who found the courage to step up as my mother and father.

TW

Though my mother never showed me the love I deserved to be shown, she was still my mother.

She was a fighter, the strongest one I've know and today, at this moment I am listening to the worst phone call of my life.

Three words I need to hear for me to completely shatter.

Mom.
Hospital.
Accident.

It was all happening so fast. One moment I'm sitting in bed with the love of my life and next I'm driving to the hospital to see my mother.

Ezra was speeding down the rode. I had no words, it felt like my mind was swarming with thoughts, but everything was just blank.

I don't know weather to panic, to scream, to cry or even jump for joy. It was my mother in the hospital and all I could really focus on was if i never left, would this have ever happened.

I knew it was her husband that put her where she is, my mom doesn't make enemies and she doesn't have the freedom to go anywhere.

It felt as if time, life was replaying itself all over again. I don't like hospitals and the fact my mother is in the hospital for the same reason I was it makes me feel guilty for leaving.

Ezra guides me through the hospital doors has a cold gush of deja vu washes over me.

His hand is on my lower back as we walk up to the emergency room counter. He states my moms name and asks the counter nurse where she is.

It's all a blur and I don't here what she says. All I think is how I'm so wrong. That I'm so stupid for ever leaving.

Soon we are sitting in chairs. Few people are around, a young woman reading a book, An elder man with his finger in his belly button, and a child . She seemed about the age of six, she has same color hair as mine and her knees were pulled to her chest. The girl had a small scar crossing her forehead, it seemed to be just stitched up.

She seemed so scared. It reminds me of the times when I was her age, when I would worry about my mom every time she went to the hospital. It was like a routine, Hurt, Hospital, Repeat.

Without a doubt of thinking, Ezras arm lets loose from around me and I slowly walk over to the little girl. I take a seat next to her, she doesn't turn my way or move. Her legs stay against her chest as she stares into the distance.

"Is someone you love here?" I ask the girl.

"My dad." she replies.

"Is he sick?"

"He's bipolar, stopped taking his meds." she shrugs.

"Did he get hurt?"

"Yes, one second we were fixing glasses of water the next he started throwing them. He slipped and now we're here." She sighs like she's used to this.

"Did a glass hit your head?"

She finally turns to look at me and nods softly. I bring my lips and bring them to her scar. I send a sad smile her way.

"My moms in an abusive relationship." I confess.
"One minute they're a happy couple, next they are sleeping in separate rooms and the house is destroyed."

"We can't control the people our parents are or who they become to be. It's either we live the life their living or we try to find one on our own." I explain.