Summer of Jonnor

Connor and his Dad

Connor finished drying the plate and set it in the strainer.

"You could stick those in the dishwasher, you know," his dad said.

"Nah, with a few it's just faster to wash them in the sink. Can I go up and do homework now?"

"Actually, there's something I want to talk to you about. Come in the living room and sit down."

Connor felt his stomach dropping. Was this it? Was he going to find out he was going to another school or maybe even another city? He left his crutches at the table, hoping on his right foot to keep most of the weight off the left one. He sat down on the couch, not wanting to look up. Inside he felt like a building being demolished and his legs started shaking.

His dad sat next to him. "I talked to Lena today."

Connor's head shot up. He gave his dad a confused look.

"This is hard for me, and I'm not going to lie, what I have to do isn't going to be easy or quick."

Connor bit his lip and looked at the floor, wishing he could sink into the carpet and just drown in himself there, like a puddle consuming itself.

"But...Lena promised to help me through this."

Connor's mouth fell open. He looked at his dad, scanning his dad's eyes, hunting for... what?

"There's an LGBT parent's support group that meets at the school every other week and I'm going to start going." He grinned ruefully. "My first meeting is tomorrow night."

"Umm...wow..." Conner felt like he wanted to say more but the words felt like a logjam in his throat.

"I just want to know...are you sure about this? About Jude?"

Connor looked him in the eye. Nodded.

"I want you to be happy, and talking to Lena has made me realize I haven't been very good at making you happy. So if you and Jude want to start dating...well, I wish I could say I'm okay with that, but I don't want to get ahead of myself. Let's just say you can do so."

Connor gasped. "Really?"

His dad nodded. "Now do your homework. And you might want to let Jude know the good news." He smiled.

Connor got his crutches and hobbled up to his room, feeling like he was in a daze. He sat on the edge of his bed, tears welling up in his eyes. He fished his phone out of his pocket. When he saw Jude on the lockscreen the tears overflowed and he couldn't see clearly anymore. His hands were shaking. It took four tries for him to write the text, You won't believe what just happened.

***

Connor turned down his covers. His phone lit up. He picked it up. I <3 U. He smiled, tapped out a quick reply. <3 U2. Talk to your moms tomorrow?

He watched the screen. Yup. He held the phone to his chest, over his heart. He felt such a jumble of feelings, happiness and sadness and love and longing all mixed together. He put the phone on his nightstand and plugged in the charger, turned off the light, climbed under the covers and held his pillow, wishing his pillow was Jude. He felt so ragged inside, so incomplete without Jude there. It was a long time before he fell into a restless sleep.