I'll Love You For A Lifetime [Heartstopper, Tara x Darcy]

Year 10: White li(n)es

Darcy's pov

"Are you feeling okay?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"I did not force you into this, did I?

"Well, you literally said 'come with me for this dinner or I am never letting you borrow my flannels again' so yeah, you sort of did."

"Shit."

"Yeah, shut up now. It's fine. If Tara's father is..." he side-eyed the driver, "cool, this dinner will give me two benefits."

"Umm...what?"

"I can borrow your flannels anytime without you saying anything and I will make some new friends."

"Ew, such an optimist."

"Can I curse now that I am officially a teen?"

So, yeah, this is kind of how George and my conversation rolled out in the evening as we sat in the back of a cab, driving to Tara's home for dinner. We could have walked(since neither of our parents would have been kind enough to drop us there), but it was getting dark, so I suggested we should take a cab instead.

Tara had told her dad about my younger brother and how he had come out as trans recently, and she said he had been very understanding when she spoke, and had in turn invited us for dinner to meet George.

George was glowing today. He was wearing pants and some nice black boots and a white shirt. I am pretty sure he had binded his chest with something, probably sports bras - which he did not really need to yet, but whatever made him feel comfortable in himself, made me happy.

We had talked about avoiding binding chest with tape as it did more harm than good, however, I had promised to buy him a binder soon. His hair was till his shoulders for now, and I was actively searching for some LGBTQ friendly hairdresser to help him get a haircut he liked.

Okay, maybe I was being a bit extra but it's fine. I did not really have anyone to be extra for me, so yeah, maybe this was my inner gay child trying to live through him instead.

"We are here, I guess?" he said abruptly.

My bubble of thought broke and I noticed that the cab driver had stopped in front of Tara's door.

"Yes we are," I said, jumping out of the cab.

I had tried to look a little less casual for this dinner so I was wearing a pair of jeans with a polo shirt today instead of my regular shorts with the first shirt I could lay my hands on.

We were welcomed by Tara at the door. She was wearing a casual blue dress printed with silver flowers. I let George go inside and then left a soft peck on her lips before following him. Tara smiled at me.

We walked into a room where we met Tara's dad who positively beamed at seeing us. George shook hands with him, "Nice to meet you, sir."

"Nice to meet you too, young man. It's George, I'm assuming?"

"Yes, sir."

We sat down and talked. Everything was perfect. The curtains coloured red and a false fire burning in the fireplace, it made the moment feel like a painting. It felt surreal, so surreal, that my brain started fogging over and there were white lines everywhere.

And suddenly, I wasn't in my body, this was not Tara's home. I was vaguely aware of the surroundings, but the red on the curtains was no longer warm. Instead, it was burning red, like the ones at my home.

I wasn't safe. I wasn't safe, here, wherever it was.

But I wasn't really here.

There was a muffled voice, "Darcy, let's go to my room, yeah?"

I nodded.

A hand took me and guided me up the stairs. I was aware that the hand was a little rough.

We sat down on the bed, the same hand on my back.

"Do you need something, Darcy? Water?"

I blinked.

Slowly, the shock started wearing off. I touched my face, I had not cried. I turned to look at my right, and saw Tara sitting there, looking scared.

"I'm fine," I said, and then laughed, "what makes you think I need water?"

Tara scanned my face, "Stop lying."

I rolled my eyes, "I'm not lying."

I desparately did not want her to know what had just happened to me. I knew it was not normal for your brain to just... disappear for a while. I desparately did not want her to think that I was not well.

Tara sighed, "Fine."

Relief flooded me. I convinced myself it was just going to be a one time thing, that it was never going to happen again. Well, I was not only wrong, but this was also going to be the beginning of a long long journey figuring out about everything that was wrong with me.

***

A/n

I am trying my best to make Darcy's narrative as compelling and accurate as possible but do let me know if anything needs to be corrected. My dms and comment section are always open for u guys just like my heart ;)

Have an amazing night or, depending on the time zone, day <3 ly