Year 9: Lonely

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Darcy's pov

Okay, so when I got to know that I was spending the week without Tara with me at school, I had never thought I would feel this crushing...lonliness. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am not (or atleast try not to be) that toxic clingy kind of person who needs that one person to fucking breathe. I have tons of other friends who I have fun with. But without Tara everything felt kind of colourless. I honest to god wasn't expecting that.

She was like my shadow, always there. Even when she wasn't there I knew she was close, and that was a very comforting thought. I knew I just needed to move into the sunlight and she would be right beside me. But today, she wasn't there, she was nowhere close. By midday I was feeling anxious. Was she fine? Was her father at home with her? Did she need cuddles? Was she bored?

So after school, I ran straight to her home. Okay, maybe I am a bit of an annoying clingy person.

When I knocked at the door of her home, I was out of breath. Her father opened the door.

He squinted his eyes for a moment, then said, "Darcy right?"

"Yes," I said, then added, "sir."

"Oh, don't call me sir," he said, beckoning me inside, "Tara's upstairs."

"Thanks," I breathed

He nodded then glanced at my uniform, "Have you had something to eat? Should I make you something?"

"No, no thanks a lot," I smiled politely, "I just came to see how Tara was doing."

"That's nice of you. She was getting pretty bored," he said. Getting the cue, I rushed upstairs, and banged the door open.

"Oh, hey," Tara smiled at me, "pleasant surprise."

"Yeah," I smiled back, "I know you can't live without me so I had to come." I winked. She rolled her eyes and scoffed.

I crawled into the bed with her.

I paid her a visit the next day, and the next, and the next again, but this time without my uniform as Tara had specifically mentioned that she was sick of seeing me in the uniform. So I wore my most flamboyant shirt and a pair of comfy denim shorts.

"Hi baby," she said as I walked in. She was wearing a sweatshirt with pyjama shorts and was snugly tucked into her blanket.

"Hi," I replied, "cuddles?"

"Yes, please."

I slipped into the blanket and big spooned her. I slipped my hand under her hoodie but she pushed it out. "I've gotten fat," she said.

I snorted, "Yeah, in two days. Sure."

She turned around and jutted her lower lip out, "I have."

"So what even if you have," I said, caressing her cheek, and she closed her eyes, "you are literally injured and can't move. Your body is working hard and helping you get better. Relax," I paused, "and it's not like a couple of pounds are gonna make me love you any less."

Tara's responses were being a little sluggish so it was a few moments before she processed what I had said. Her eyes flew open, "Did you just say-"

"I love you, yes," I said, raising her hand to my lips and kissing it, "I love you very much, Tara Jones."

Tara blinked and I felt my face fluster. "Stop staring," I said, considering if getting out of bed was a good idea or not.

Tara looked at our hands intertwined and said in a small voice, "I think I love you too."

"You don't sound like it," I said, almost hearing my heart break.

"No, I-" she sat up, "I am not quite sure what love is supposed to feel like. I don't know what I feel is love or something else."

"Something else?"

"I am just trying to be honest Darcy," she said, taking a deep breath, "I feel like we are too young to be sure. I mean...I do care for you a lot, and I love holding hands with you and being with you in general. And I feel very...alone when you are not around. But I don't know. Is this what love feels like?"

I looked at her quietly. She raised her hand to my lips and leaned in, close to my ear, and whispered, "Let's just remember that I said 'I love you too' and then we kissed." She kissed my lips softly, "what happened in between never really happened. A little dream."

She kissed me again and this time I kissed her back. I kissed her back because I wanted to cry but that would be too pathetic.

If that's what you feel, Tara, I hope it is love because that's what I feel too.

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