Too Much (Sequel to Baby Pogue) // JJ Maybank

37. cries

I am so sorry for this.

Also, this chapter has very little dialogue so I am sorry if it is boring for some but I wanted to engulf what this was like for the characters.

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Avie stood at the side of her middle brother's casket.

It was closed.

She held onto her eldest brother's arm as she sobbed, not believing that Daylon was the one in there. She leaned into Ashton, letting her tears wipe against the fabric of his suit. She felt his arm shaking as his body trembled, trying so hard to be strong for her so he could be the one she leaned on. But he was so close to breaking down.

His baby brother.

He felt so guilty for being upset when Daylon caused so much trauma and stress for this family but God, if only he could have gotten the help he needed. He was worth so much more than he allowed himself to be and maybe, just maybe, if he could have been only a little bit stronger, he would not have hurt Kiara, he would have never wound up in jail, and he would have never resorted to this.

Ashton threw his head back as he squeezed his eyes shut.

He had already said his goodbyes alone at Daylon's casket.

Avie could not even make it up there by herself without clinging to Ashton.

For fucks sake, she could not even see Daylon right now and she wanted to believe with everything in her that it was not him inside the casket but she saw the photos from the scene. She was not supposed to.

She did not even feel guilty for mourning the loss of her brother right now. Kiara was not even on her mind despite her sitting on a bench a few feet behind her. She should be relieved that Kiara was no longer in harms way, that Daylon could truly never lay a finger on anybody ever again, that her children would never have to fear their own uncle.

But she was blinded by the version of Daylon that she would always remember him as.

The one who protected her when she was a little girl. The one who saved her from drowning in the ocean when she was twelve years old. The one who accepted her family as is and became so close knit with her little family.

She mourned the brother that saved himself from the darkness in his head. The brother that took his medication responsibly and cleaned himself up. The brother that loved her first born more than anything.

The brother that she knew he could be because he once was. He proved that he could do exactly what it takes to get clean, love others, and be happy again. He had done it before. Fuck.

Why could he not do it again?

Ashton lifted his head back up and sucked in a breath, forcing himself to get it together. There was no getting it together. He just lost his brother. His only brother.

"C'mon." Ashton sniffled and pulled his sister's arm lightly, "I'm right here." In case she forgot.

She probably did.

She did not exactly feel like this was reality. Maybe if she cried hard enough she would wake herself back to the reality she had before it all went wrong.

JJ sat beside Kiara on one of the benches. She was the only one of the pogues to show up. John B, Sarah, and Pope offered to come support Avie and Kiara but JJ insisted it was okay that they stayed back.

Plus, the kids could not come here. Someone needed to watch them.

He watched his girlfriend sob loudly into her big brother's arm. His heart broke at the sight and he wished that could be him holding his girl tightly against his chest, but Avie did not seem to want anybody but her family right now. He understood.