𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐒; nick carter

024

December 30, 1995 Berlin, Switzerland
NICKs POV

"alright" Kevin goes to sit down beside Brian "who wants to start" we were currently and Kevin and Brian's room going to discuss what happened yesterday. Me and Brian start talking at the same time until Kevin goes to cut us off.

"One by one." Kevin sternly reminds "Nick here was out in a bar, underaged drinking, with a girl kissing him all over" Brian starts "Be thankful you were in a more private bar and no one probably saw what happened" Brian continues still glaring at nick.

"I was drunk! I was acting on emotion!" I retort "Thats the problem, Nick! You're always acting on how you feel, your overpowering emotions are causing you do stupid shit!" Brian starts to raise his voice.

"Calm down alright" Kevin warns as he gestures his hand for Brian to calm down "Look, Nick what you did is wrong alright? Now, I won't shout at you for it, but you have gotta tell Sage what you did, be fair to her you have to build trust in your guys' relationship" Kevin says as he tries to approach the situation carefully.

"Absolutely not! It will destroy what we.. barely have!" I shout out "And thats on you, you will just have to accept how sage takes it whether she takes it calmly and forgives you or badly and will never speak to you again, you had a choice yesterday when you walked into hat bar." Kevin responds still keeping his calm.

"But how will I do that, I mean come on she's stressed enough already doing this will hurt her more" I put my head in my hands "he's got a good point" Howie pipes in "Look you had the choice yesterday nick , you have to understand that" Brian chimes in.

"Yea well I was fucked, I made the wrong decision now how the fuck do I reverse it" I respond grumpily "You can't, now you can just do the right thing and be fair to her, tell her what you did and hopefully she'll forgive you.." Kevin trails off "look man its sage alright, I'm sure she'll forgive you" AJ pats me not he shoulder.

"I sure hope so" I mumble.

After we all ate out breakfast we went to rehearsals and my mind was filled with stress and anxiety on how Sage would respond to what I'd say before the concert I drank a little to get me tipsy so I wouldn't be too distracted.

It would only be once, I mean come on at rehearsals I kept zoning out if I didn't get at least a little tipsy right now, I'd definitely fuck up our concert.

Thankfully the drink wore off a little before the end of the show so when I talked to sage later I'd be sober... well actually now that I think of it, it would be helpful to be a little tipsy.

I decided against the drinking not wanting to form an addiction especially being only 15 "go ring up sage" Kevin nudges after the concert I take a big gulp and go tot he phone ringing her up "Hey this is Lou" Lou answers.

"Lou? Why are you on sage's phone?" I ask "hasn't finished the concert wait about 5 minutes" Lou responds "alright thanks Lou" I end the call and wait for 5 minutes, the longest 5 minutes of my life might I add.

"hey you alright?" Brian snaps me out of it "no" I answer honestly "it'll be alright kid, Sage might take it badly for a while but she'll warm up to you alright?" Brian reassures "I fuckin hope so" I sigh.

It was finally 5 minutes after and Brian had already left me for some alone time, I get the phone and go to ring her up slowly pressing on the numbers as the anxiety in me rose even more after each time I pressed my finger on the rubber buttons of the phone.

RING RING RI- "Hey this is sage, how can I help?" Sage panted out, I assumed she just finished the concert, hence the panting. "h- hey sage" I answer "Nick.." She answers hesitantly "hey" she continues as her panting stops for a while.

"I wanted to talk to you... I did something terrible and I just want you to promise you wont go insane after I say what I say alright?" My voice trembling as I spoke "ok..." Sage says confused.

"I got out of hand yesterday after all my jealousy and anger and stress built inside me... I went over at a bar and-" I sigh as I hesitate to say what happened next "I was.. with a- with a girl, I swear it was an accident I wasn't sober, I was drunk but Brian stopped me until anything more happened." I sighed

"I just wanted to tell you so that you wouldn't find out from the magazines and would find out straight from me in case the magazines put out there that I was with a girl, and I wanted to make sure you knew I wasn't in the right state of mind.." I trail off my anxiety building ups waiting for her answer.

"I- wow" Sage dryly chuckles "I.. have to have a moment to think about this... I trust you nick, I really do and I know you weren't at the right state of mind but.. give me time to think alright? And please dont drink I dont want you going down that road" Sage responds.

It made me feel even more guilty. Sage practically got cheated on because of my dumbs yet she was worrying about me... I felt horrible.

"Alright I understand, please call me when you're ready to talk to me agin alright? I miss you.. and I'm sorry for assuming things about you and KJ" I add on "its alright, I love you Nick. I'll be seeing you in a few days alright? take care" Sage ends the call.

I sigh and put my head in my hands. What the fuck was I supposed to do now.

December 30, 1995 Nuremberg, Germany
SAGEs POV

After ending the call I feel tears well up in my eyes. I knew nick didn't mean it and it was just his built up emotions being released. I can't blame him, after the shit I put him through with the random ass break and being on tour and everything he would need to release it somehow.

Except his way of releasing his emotion hurt me. It was his first time hurting me so I'd forgive him eventually but I needed time to think- to take a step back take a look at everything and take a breather. Now I wasn't going to ditch tour but I needed to rest and take time for myself.

I decided I'd fix my sleeping schedule and actually create a schedule from now on. On breaks I'd try to sleep and I'd sleep at 12 am earliest, 2 am latest and I'd just try to. fix my life in general.

So far it wasn't too fucked up but I was also starting to get into smoking and drinking again when I started the break with nick so I'd have to stop that too. 

I'd try my best but there were no promises.

"hey you good?" KJ comes into the tour bus "mhmm" I smiled as I felt a tear run down "hey what happened?" KJ asks as he comes immediately to me "nick did something... and it hurt but it made me realize I need to stop making my life shit" I explained.

"Can you help me?" I ask KJ "of course" He reassures "I've- I've got uhm coke in.. in the cabinets.. kitchen cabinets could you throw those for me and the alcohol in the fridge too can you throw them out for me please" I fiddle with my hands.

"sage.." KJ sighs out, he knew I had an addiction but he was convinced I stopped since I told him 2 years ago "I'm sorry I couldn't handle all the stress" I cried out as he offered me his shoulder to lean on as I cried.

"it's alright, I'll help you beat the addiction alright? We can do this together" KJ hugs me "thank Kage" I hug him back "thats what older brother are for right?" He pulls away giving e a grin making me smile.

"alright now lets get the coke and alcohol out" KJ goes to the kitchen throwing the things.

I was grateful, super grateful for everything. The boys, KJ, Nick... without them I'd probably be dead. 

── ⌗ end chapter *ೃ༄