Powerpuff girls (male reader insert)

Divide and Conquer

(Opening shot: the city skyline during the day.)

Narrator: The city of Townsville! Where the most dastardly, most vile, most crooked degenerates plot their most wicked schemes.

(During this line, dissolve to a slow pan along with a brick wall plastered with WANTED posters. The following evildoers are shown: the Gangrene Gang ("Punks"), Sedusa ("Jezebel"), Roach Coach ("Dirty"), and the Rowdyruff Boys ("Jerks"). Partly visible at the bottom of the screen is a poster of someone named Jim; while the face is not seen, the hairstyle suggests that it might be the same Jim who appeared in "Mime for a Change" and "Him Diddle Riddle." The camera stops briefly after passing the Rowdyruffs' poster, then turns down quickly to show the Amoeba Boys standing in front of the wall. Bossman is smiling proudly, but Skinny Slim and Tiny, a.k.a. Junior, are apparently not on his wavelength just yet.)

Narrator: Or not.

Bossman: All right, fellas. We're going to commit a crime!

(Cut to just over his "shoulder"; he is looking at the fruit bins outside a store across the street. His attention is focused on the orange display, which the grocer is filling.)

Bossman: All right, Junior. You go over there and lift one of those.

(Back to the group.)

Junior: Me? No way! Why doesn't Slim go? He's taller.

Slim: Me? No! (to Bossman) Uh...why don't you go? You're the boss man.

Bossman: Huh? I can't go. I'm the getaway driver.

Slim: But you don't have a car.

(This fact puts Bossman at a brief loss for words. On the next line, pull back to behind the orange display.)

Bossman: Uh...Junior. You go over.

Junior: No way!

Slim: Why don't you go, Boss?

(All three start arguing the point, during which a truck passes by; its wake causes an orange to tumble from the display. Cut to them; the fruit rolls to a stop in front of them, and they fall silent. Bossman looks over at Slim, who is now smiling at the turn of events, and reaches down with a pseudopod "hand" to seize the booty. He lifts it up, whistling innocently, and then has a good laugh as Slim and Junior beam back at him. They head off.)

Bossman: Let's get out of here!

Junior: To the hideout!

Slim: Yeah!

(Fade to black.)

(Snap to another section of town, this one rather dilapidated, judging from the graffiti and broken windows. A nightclub, the Roxie, is across the street from us. Police car sirens wail not too distantly o.c. as the view zooms in and dissolves to a slow pan across the club's empty interior. Stop on the Boys, onstage under the glare of a single spotlight, during the next line. A small crate stands between them.)

Bossman: Yeah, this is the life. The life of crime!

(He laughs; close-up of them and the orange, now on the crate, and he picks it up. On the next line, he places it in turn before the one whose name is mentioned.)

Bossman: Okay, fellas. It's time to divide up the loot. Okay, so. One for me...uh, ooh! One for Slim, and, uh, one for Junior there.

(Junior seems quite pleased with the arrangement, but it dawns on Bossman and Slim that this might not be in their best interests. Silence for some moments.)

Junior: Wow! Thanks!

Bossman: (taking orange) Wait a minute! Hmm—let's try that again. (doing as before) Uh, one for me, uh, one for Slim, one—no, wait. Uh, one for—one for me, uh, one for Slim—