Powerpuff girls (male reader insert)

Schoolhouse Rocked

(Opening shot: the city skyline, as it might appear in a video game.)

Narrator: (mechanical-sounding) The City of Townsville...is under attack!

(Turn down to ground level, where Bubbles and Fuzzy Lumpkins are nose to nose. Bubbles pounds on Fuzzy for a while, then deals him a flying uppercut that knocks him flat on his back. The next two lines also sound artificial.)

Narrator: Fuzzy: the loser! (These words appear on the screen; cut to Bubbles.) Bubbles: the winner! (These words also appear.)

(Zoom in on her; the words "GAME OVER" appear.)

Bubbles: Okay!

(Pull back to show that this is, in fact, a Powerpuff Girls video game. Ace plays; Snake watches.)

Snake: Man, Ace, Bubbles sure kicked your— (Ace socks him as a warning to not finish what he was saying and rephrase it if he doesn't want to get decked again.) Ow! I means, good game, Ace.

Ace: Come on, let's ditch this joint. (They walk across the arcade.) Arturo! Big Billy! Move out!

(Close-up of Big Billy, holding something over his head.)

Billy: Duh...just a second, Ace.

(What he is holding is Lil' Arturo, whom he is using as the basketball in a free-throw game. He shoots and scores.)

Lil' Arturo: (rolling to the front) Two points!

(The machine spits out a string of prize tickets, which Big Billy holds up for the others to see.)

Big Billy: Tickets!

Ace: Yeah, yeah. Any of you goobers seen Grubber?

(Cut to Grubber, seated on a mechanical horse with a scene from a black-and-white Western playing behind him. The rest of the Gangreen Gang walks past him.)

Ace: Quit horsin' around! Come on!

(Grubber slowly climbs down, regards the ride for a long moment, then walks away from it. Cut to a head-on view of the Gang slouching along up the aisle.)

Ace: So now what do youse wanna do?

(They stop suddenly at the sound of a voice: a gruff, no-nonsense, rapid-fire monotone.)

Speaker: I'll tell you what you're gonna do, you're gonna listen and listen good!

(Camera turns around and moves up from the feet of the speaker on the end of this line. It's Jack Wednesday. He wears a gray suit, trench coat, and fedora. His face and the set of his jaw mark him as a law enforcement veteran.)

Speaker: Who am I, you ask? Wednesday, Jack Wednesday. I'm a truant officer.

(He leans in closer.)

Speaker (Wednesday): What's a truant officer, you ask? Well, the only way to answer that is to be smart. And you boys aren't very smart, are you? Didn't think so. So how do you become smart? That's right, you go to school. And what would you learn if you went to school? Well, for one, you'd learn what a truant officer is. Now who can tell me what a truant officer does?

(Long silence from the Gang, who have no reply or answer to Wednesday's question.)

Wednesday: Okay, I'll tell you once more, but this is the last time. A truant officer's job is to make sure punks like you go to school.

(The Gang has a good laugh at this.)

Ace: Aw, man, we ain't never done gone to no school!

Wednesday: You're kidding!