Until Always(ON HOLD)

Part 16.

I wasn't going to tell anybody what I had just done. Not until I was ready and that scared me because I never knew when that moment was going to be. I wasn't one for keeping secrets and Kylie always hated me for it because I would tell mom everything.

I didn't want anyone telling me that I was wrong about this. I wasn't going to do anything with it yet but this is what I wanted and Morgan is who I wanted and nobody was going to tell me otherwise.

I was excited and scared at the same time because again I couldn't keep a secret to save my life. I wanted to tell TJ and everyone but I couldn't besides I hadn't bought it yet. I'll wait until after my trip.

I watched Kylie in her room pacing back and forth and I'm guessing she was on the phone with Kat and it didn't look good. She hung up and made her way toward me. I just stared at her waiting for her to speak.

"You know I envy you," She said crossing her arms "The way you and morgan are in the way I thought me and Kat was going to be, you know because it's new and fresh and I really thought-" She stopped and looked down.

She sighed "She had red flags written all over her from the beginning" She said "I'm sorry" I whispered to her. She shrugged "And people told me about her I just-" She shook her head 

"But anyway I'm glad that's over," She said "Did she meet someone else?" I asked She shook her head again 

"Let's just say she met a whole bunch of people...and did a whole bunch of people" I nodded "I'm gonna go pack," she said and she walked away. My chest hurt at the thought of this.

My mind went back to morgan, as it always does.

I imagined her getting out of the shower and smelling like vanilla as she always does. I imagined her tiny hands and the cute face she made when she sneezed and how in the summertime her eczema bothered her and her skin got all red.

"what are you thinking about?" My mom asked smiling and I turned to her "who else?" I said smiling back at her. She turned to face me "Are you excited?" She asked I didn't say anything my mind went back to the ring.

"I-" I stopped myself from saying anything more. Hold it in, don't say anything I told myself.

I just nodded at her and smiled even more.

I went back upstairs to pack and I'm not sure what it was but my whole body felt like it was on fire in a good way. I felt dizzy at one point and had to stop packing to sit down. My stomach turned and my head spun like crazy. 

When I told kylie what I was feeling she told me "You're in love" I didn't believe it. Mostly because why did it feel like this, like I was going to faint. "Does this happen to everyone?" I asked her and she laughed at me "Yes"

It's not that it didn't feel good. It hurt mostly but not in a painful way. It made me want to be closer to morgan more than ever. I wanted to touch her and feel her and never leave her.

This was too painful and I didn't know how to make it stop. It felt like there were waves in my body rushing everywhere. I wanted to eat but I couldn't, I wanted to sleep but I couldn't close my eyes. 

Eventually, Kylie had given me Tylenol for the 8-hour flight because she claimed if the feelings didn't subside it was gonna get worse on the plane and I wouldn't make it so she told me to sleep through the whole thing and I did.

I woke up in Puerto Rico and Unfortunately the feelings were still there. I turned around to face kylie, bent over, and puked right in the airport in front of everyone.