Azur Lane - Crackhead's Paradise

Weekly Report - Week 16

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Announcement - "To all ships, I have done things I regret doing. If you see Arbiter jumping around in joy, and remind yourselves of what she's tried to do to me, you'll know what I did. I hope you understand my bed was on the line here."

Arbiter - "Please, In too tired right now. What do you mean humans are like sirens? I was almost bedridden for having sex with you for an entire day straight."

Taihou - "You shouldn't try to fight Arbiter, she'll beat you up. The power gap can't be comprehended. Also, Albacore will be watching you 24/7. No matter how much you cry, no matter how much you plead, I won't give a shit."

Admiral Hipper - "Boobs aren't mean to be use as weapons. Don't try to use them as such, it's bad enough Atago classifies hers as one already. I think she does."

Choukai - "We need you to keep a leash on Atago. Preferably, an electric shock collar so she knows why it's wrong to stab others "for fun."

Nagato - "Necromancy isn't real, nor is tentacle magic, stop scaring your sister by threatening to use it against her."

Enterprise - "You're going on a diet? You're not using that so I feel sympathy for you, right?"

Hornet - "Your reign of terror has ended, we're sending you to camp concentrate to reform your ways."

San Francisco - "San Diego has been cracking down on who broke her microphone, I recommend leaving base until the heat dies down. Trust me, you don't want to know what she does to people who touch her microphone."

Drake - "Your treasures have been seized

Queen Charybdis - "I take back what I said last week. Edinburgh isn't a good fit for head maid. What happened this Wednesday, stays there forever."

Hood - "One more false rumor and I'm sending you to camp concentrate. You know how many disgusting looks I've been getting around base lately because of you?"

Prince of Wales - "To mourn is one thing. The systematic murdering of Yorktown is another. And yes, it is a crime to kill a criminal."

Neptune - "For a ship named after a fairly sized planet, your ego reaches the size of Saturn- no, it reaches Jupiter. How one does that amazes me."

Duke of York - "There has been concern of shipgirls reporting bite marks. I'm not even going to assume it's you. I know it is you."

Sirius - "You are banned from using swords. Ever. Do you know how much it'll take for Cheshire to recover from it? Not everyone can recover from their tail being cut off."

Friedrich Der Grosse - "Therapy sessions? Why have those when I have you? No, I don't have a mommy kink. What I said back then was a lie to get closer to you."

Prinz Heinrich - "First Adalbert and now you. I'm going to have to set up cameras so you girls can stop trying to ruin Admiral Hipper's tits.

Graf Zeppelin - "Solid google slides presentation. The art and presentation of everything was great. Though, that won't convince me to request Akashi to buy more ICBM missiles."

Shinano - "I'm bad at my job? I don't know if you can really talk about being bad at things when we, well, look at your history. You weren't really that better. You weren't even fully completed to begin with."

Mikasa - "Removed as flagship. I'm not really surprised. At the same time I am because, quite frankly, who the hell thinks of firebombing chinese cities for fun? I don't think when the citizens of Tokyo were firebombed thought it was all fun and games as well. What is wrong with you?"

Hyuuga - "You are being placed into solitary confinement after hearing complaints of you "groping" and "cat-calling" the girls at camp concentrate. Your most abused victim was Hornet. We don't know if her complaints are even complaints, they just complimented you."

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