Azur Lane - Crackhead's Paradise

Weekly Report - Week 11

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Announcement - "To all ships, Arbiter has been detained and sent to camp concentrate under suspicion of plotting to have babies with me in my sleep. In an unrelated note, Akagi has started a wrestling match between her, Taihou, and Roon for my affectionate love."

Sirens -  "I think it's time you girls find out why it's wrong to do things without consent."

Arbiter - "Don't speak to me for several days."

Akagi - "You might have a chance at beating Taihou, but I should remind you that Roon isn't just a yandere, she's literally batshit insane."

Taihou -  "I hope you lose."

Roon - "If you win, I might scorch earth the entire base."

Akashi - "They released you from prison? I feel like you bribed them with gems for that get out of jail card."

Edinburgh - "I have reason to believe Akashi is up to something. I'm tasking you to spy on her. No, it's not stalking if we give it another name and definition."

Belfast - "I think you're still salty over Charybdis becoming the head maid. Although, you may be right with her enjoying it too much."

Charybdis - "You're scaring the other maids, calm down, please."

Hood - "I don't spy on you, stop saying that."

PoW - "I'm not perverted- Wait you can't even get on me for that, you literally grope Eugen anytime of the day!"

Queen Elizabeth - "You're banned from having coffee, I've never seen a ww1-era battleship go on a hyper speed rampage across the base."

Monarch - "Congrats on being released from the hospital, I recommend staying away from Belfast though to avoid future conflicts."

Chaser - "I didn't say I wanna marry you. I mean, yeah, who wouldn't marry you, but I didn't say I would!"

Enterprise - "I didn't tell you the birds and bees so I get to avoid the wrath of Yorktown. Eugen, on the other hand..."

Hornet - "I'm glad you came out of the closet, I think it explains why you some of the girls complain about them finding you in their bed naked."

Yorktown - "Don't kill Eugen... please."

Mikasa - "We live in a different, more civil society, Mikasa. If I say no to chemical warfare, I mean no."

Shinano - "I will neither confirm nor deny I snuggled in your fluffy tails, you have no evidence to back that up."

Yamato - "I'm sorry for putting you up on a hotel listing site. You can't deny that it was funny."

Tosa - "You said you wouldn't mind me making your secretary and doing stuff. I'll keep that in the back of my mind."

Taihou-Chan - "I... I have no words, really."

Harutsuki - "I know the joke of you looking like Reimu was funny, but I didn't think you'd take it seriously."

Kaga - "Prepare the flowers for your sister's funeral."

Eugen-Chan - "I... I have no words."

Prinz Eugen - "Yorktown knows what you told Enterprise, you have a few minutes to live."

Admiral Hipper - "I scheduled a breast implant appointment for you. I hope it stops you crying all the time aboutEugen teasing you about it."

Z25 - "I don't get it. I look at you and instantly see a more happier version of Z24 that fits into society. Also, stop pranking her so much. I think she's become extremely paranoid."

Odin - "You look cool, yes, and you have a cool name. Does that mean you're the norse god himself? No, so stop telling people you are his reincarnation."

U-410 - "You're very prideful. Too prideful, I might add. I know it's for fun, but stop bullying the other H-boats by showing off your more "developed" tits."

Elbe - "I'm never making you my secretary again. I'd rather have either Taihou or Roon as my secretary before considering have you again."

Peter Strasser - "I'm glad you're doing something about your sister, but beating her up isn't the most effective way."

Graff Zeppelin - "As much as it hurts, it might hurt her more than it hurts you."

Friedrich Der Grosse - "Sorry for the little incident earlier, I was drunk so I hope you forgive me on that."

Augustus Von Parseval - "When you said that German technology is the best technology, I can see why. Like, why must german ships be so hot?"

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