Azur Lane - Crackhead's Paradise

Weekly Report - Week 14

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Announcement - "To all ships, Yorktown has tried to escape prison. She failed, go figure, and is detained it a more secure location. Reminder that her trial is... is uh... next month?"

Yorktown - "Don't escape. Don't do it again. It's bad enough your sisters are unhinged."

Enterprise - "You did something earlier Monday... I can't remember. It has to do with Hammann, right?"

Laffey - "I sentenced you to camp concentrate under suspicion of attempting to kill North Carolina for stealing your bunny ears."

Georgia - "As the latest ship addition to my fleet, the word of advice I could give is this: don't trust what anyone besides me says or tells you to do."

New Jersey - "I appreciate your love for bunnies. Though, I don't like that you installed a stripper pole in my office and insisted on wearing a black, skin tight bunny suit and dancing on said pole. I'm having that removed, and that suit burnt by Vestal."

Seattle - "I'm settling on you being the flagship for the eagle union, seeing Enterprise isn't fit to do so. Please don't fuck up like her."

Albacore - "I find it hard to believe you're self aware of how little you're wearing. No, it doesn't mean you begin to go around naked!"

Baltimore - "Why did you bring live grenades to the tennis match? Was you, right? Unless it was Bremerton."

Bremerton - "You and your sister are under suspicion of bringing live grenades to the tennis match on Wednesday."

Cavalla - "We need to go over what is appropriate to wear on base, and what the term "wearing too little" means."

Bristol - "You're cute, yes, but you can't use that to get away with committing crimes around base. Were you the one who robbed Akashi's store?"

Eldridge - "Stop praising yourself as a eldritch god."

Cheshire - "Your smile concerns others, please work on it. It's the smile people hate, right?

Monarch - "Another fight?! This makes this the... fourteenth or sixteenth? I can't tell, I forgot. I'll send you two to camp concentrate if it persists."

Belfast - "Suck it up, or face being at camp concentrate again."

Drake - "You're not Francis Drake, you're just not. Stop telling others you are his reincarnation as a ship girl."

Charybdis - "After careful analysis, I'm promoting you leader of the royal navy. Good luck, Queen Charybdis."

Elizabeth - "I'm revoking the "Queen" in your name and you can't do nothing about it."

Hood - "Are you installing cameras in your room? I already told you, I don't sneak in your room. Who is telling you all these false rumors?"

Friedrich Der Grosse - "In case you're wondering, yes, I've been feeling great. Though I think I need some alone time. You can come by to my office though to talk more if you want... I enjoy your company."

Graf Spee - "If I remember correctly, you said, and quote, "The Nazis didn't do anything. If anything, the genocides were called for." I'm actually going to diagnose you as insane as Roon is. Actually, more insane than her."

Deutschland - "Just shut up. I won't acknowledge your insane ideologies, nor the revised version of Mein Kampf you wrote and published to the public."

Lützow - "You're more sane than any ironblood girl, I might make you flagship for them."

Shinano - "What do you mean my dreams are "blank?" I dream of productive things like work, work... and work."

Akagi - "You're crazy. No doubt about it, no one just says "I put milk before cereal" and leaving it at that."

Kaga - "Send your sister to the bottom of the ocean for what she said. I don't care how, just do it."

Chikuma - "I'm tempted for making you leader of the sakura empire... you're too cute. Unfortunately, your book describing how you want me to "defile" you had made me change my decision."

Suruga - "You hate your sister, yes, everyone knows that. It doesn't mean you cuff her to the bed and begin strangling her while spouting random stuff in japanese. Why did you do that again?"

Amagi-Chan - "This is getting out of hand, I'm gonna talk to Akashi to shut down whatever operation she has to make you chibi girls."

Tosa - "Thank you for taking care of the report last week. I can always count on you for doing my tasks."

Mikasa - "Chemical warfare is banned, per Geneva laws. Yes, this also means napalm bombings."

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