Azur Lane - Crackhead's Paradise

Weekly Report - Week 15

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Announcement - "To all ships, Purifier is lying to you all. We're not married, or ever will be. God forbid I marry that annoying girl. Even as I say that, she'll probably persist and set up a marriage with me, which is unfortunate."

Purifier - "Me? Interested in you? I would never, I doubt Arbiter would even be happy sharing me."

Arbiter - "I'm not married to Purifier, I swear! Let me sleep on the bed again. Look, I'll even do anything to sleep on the bed again!"

Benson - "Attempting to sneak explosives so Laffey can break out is punishable by removal of bunny ears."

Georgia - "You're doing well, good job. Don't trust whatever Enterprise says. Yorktown is guilty."

Bremerton - "Tennis matches are banned from being played on base. It's too chaotic and if I see another one, I'll burn all the equipment."

Massachusetts - "Tribes are banned. Your little feud with Minneapolis,  Alabama, and South Dakota is getting out of hand. There are too many huts on base now."

South Dakota - "You made those huts. Get rid of them."

Minneapolis - "Another word about tribes and I'm sending you to camp concentrate. I won't say it again."

San Diego - "Your microphone is missing? Oh, that's unfortunate. I wonder who took it."

San Francisco - "I know you took Diego's microphone. If possible, destroy it so she may never sing horribly again."

Cheshire - "Ever since I've started asking for cups of tea from you, I always all asleep. I have a sneaking suspicion that Taihou conversed with you to lace them with sleeping pills."

Drake - "Treasure hunting is not a hobby. To bypass security and punishment by saying you're the reincarnation of Francis Drake, we will seize of any gold, dresses, and jewelry you've stolen."

Queen Charybdis - "Promoting Belfast back to head maid was a bad idea as she is starting to get power hungry. I suggest giving that role to Edinburgh."

Hood - "It's come to my concern that you might be asking Wales and King George to spy on me. If you're that desperate, I will oath you. Though, some might object to that."

Prince of Wales - "I know you're sad about Eugen's death. But I must ask, are you are really spying on me for Hood?"

King George V - "I know you're spying on me, you're not that sneaky. Doesn't help you stand up a lot with your red uniform as well."

Neptune - "No there isn't another ship named Neptune. Actually, you don't own the name Neptune, so stop threatening to kill others who use it."

Duke of York - "We are cutting off your food supply and forcing you on a diet. You know how much it is buying a liter of human blood costs every year for you? Let alone on buying them off the black market? Akashi has to cover my ass so I don't get arrested."

Dido - "Maid warfare isn't a type of warfare and will never be one. This doesn't mean you claim it as your own type of warfare."

Sirius - "Sword sparring is nice and all, but remember that it isn't when real swords half the size of you are involved. Where did you even get that big of a sword from?"

Hermione - "After investigating your room, you've been sent to camp concentrate to reform and go through rehab. Imagine everyone's surprise finding bags of heroine in your room under your bed."

Formidable - "Thanks for telling me about what Hermione was doing. I would recommend working on defense when she gets out and try to take you out."

Friedrich Der Grosse - "What I said saturday was out of line. I didn't mean to lash out like that on you. No, I don't hate your company and talking to you... can we still talk to each other?"

Prinz Adalbert - "You were caught trying to sneak in Hipper's room with a pair of scissors... were you trying to cut her tits off?"

Graf Zeppelin - "The nuclear launch codes help to the leaders of nations. They don't belong to you. No, this doesn't mean I try negotiating with them so you can own some nuclear silos."

Peter Strasser - "If beating your sister to bear death will help reform her ways, I wholeheartedly approve of this method."

Deutschland - "The Jews didn't create sirens, nor did any government to spite you all. If it was the case, why would they attack their own?"

Shinano - "How much of my dream is really just blank nothingness? You make it sound like it's a bad thing."

Taihou - "If you are lacing my tea with sleeping pills, I'm having Albacore be with you at all times. Don't test me."

Mikasa - "You are temporary flagship for sakura empire. Ise is currently in a coma because Hyuuga bonked her on the head with her katana too hard. Please, for the love of god, don't try anything stupid. Don't."

Hyuuga - "Detained and sentenced for bonking your sister too hard until you have reformed your ways. Don't try to harass the girls in camp concentrate, it was bad enough Eugen used to do that."

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