#8 Santa Claus

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It was nearly Christmas and everyone was preparing for the annual joyful holiday.


The door to Dick's room burst open.

Dick raised an eyebrow.

"Yes Lil' D?"

"Who..." Damian's face turned a little red. "Who is this...this...Santa Claus I keep hearing about?"

Dick tried his best not to burst out laughing. Damian, an ex-assassin, wanting to know who Santa Claus was...it was just too great.

"Santa Claus? Where did you hear that from?"

"From Marinette," Damian said matter-of-factly. His girlfriend had been talking about Christmas and what to make.

"Now tell me who he is or I shall spend my time elsewhere."

Dick smiled and ruffled Damian's hair. It would be so adorable if he got Damian to believe in Santa!

"Well, Santa Claus lives in the North Pole-"

"Is he a maniac? How could he possibly live in the North Pole?"

"-and makes toys for Christmas. Or rather, his elves make toys and he delivers them."

"Aha! So it's slavery!"

"Then he uses magic dust to make himself shrink then goes down the chimney of people's homes to drop off their presents in the middle of the night."

Damian got up and started to walk down to the Batcave.

"Lil' D, where are you going?"

Damian abruptly stopped and turned around to face Dick with a serious look on his face.

"I'm going to the Batcave. I must stop this Santa Claus before he continues this crime and bring him to justice!"


"For breaking and entering the homes of children all over the world! This is robbery! And he enslaves elves to do his work for him!"

"What? No! Damian-"

But Damian had already left.

When returned, he had a disappointed look on his face.

"Santa Claus, you have escaped me this time. Next time, you won't be so lucky!"
The next day, the Wayne kids went Christmas shopping at the mall.

However, there was a big problem: there was someone cosplaying Santa.

The second Damian stepped off the escalator, his face turned murderous. "It's Santa Claus...he's here!"

A smirk crossed Stephanie's face.

"Aww, do you want to hold hands with him and sit on his lap? It would make such a cute picture-"

"No, you complete and utter idiot! We must capture the Santa Claus and bring him to justice!"

Jason stared at Damian dumbfounded.


Damian hissed, "You heard me!"

Steph looked like she didn't know if she wanted to laugh or bring her brother to a psychologist.

"Err...okay...why exactly must we 'capture the Santa Claus and bring him to justice' again?"

Damian looked at her like she was crazy.

"You don't know?!"

"Um...know what?"

"That he enslaves people! He enslaves elves and is guilty of major breaking and entering! He breaks into children's houses every year! And theft!"


"Cookie theft! It's his most common crime!"

Jason wore a smirk on his face. Tim looked like he was about to laugh his head off any second.

"Damian," Tim started, grinning. "Santa isn't even real. That's just someone cosplaying him. And even if he was real, he's not a bad guy."

Damian spun around and started walking towards the Santa.

"Tt, and where did you hear that, Drake? I have done hours of research. I've read all about him, and it is perfectly obvious that he is guilty! He should be right next to Joker, where he belongs. If you don't believe me, I'll just have to prove it to you."

With that, he took off towards Santa. Jason, Tim and Steph all just stood there, extremely confused.

"Just go along with it," Dick told them.

Damian got to the front of the line where children were queuing to take a picture with Santa. He started yelling at Santa, shouting about all his "crimes".

It wasn't until Damian looked like he was about to punch Santa that Jason and Dick snapped out of it and realised they should stop him.

Sighing, they walked over and picked Damian up, slinging him over Jason's shoulder.

"Let me go, Todd! I must bring him to justice! Let me go or I will kill you!"

Damian was screaming like a small child while banging his fists against Jason's back.

It was truly a comical sight.


I should post this during Christmas but I can't wait that long 😂 anyways I hope you guys enjoyed!




Zoe 💜

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