Book of Smut and Fluff! BWWM

Pt 1.Church (Bill Skarsgård angst)

{TW: self harm, suicidal thoughts, blood sharing, mentioning of SA}

Bill came into my life when I had nothing else to look for. In life and everything.

I just didn't see a point in going on and that was horrible since my parents say I have so much to live for.

Well, I don't. I'm 25 years old and I'm at the end of the rope.

Or at least that's what I had planned...

Bill

I was lighting a candle for the dead, it's what I'm used to. Mourning the dead seems like such a tedious thing, why can't we all just get a clean break? Yes, we open our hearts to people and want to be loved in return, but why should we have to suffer when they're gone?

I blow out the candle when I hear shuffling of feet running past me. I turn to see a glisten in the dark with a flash of white.

"WHOEVER IS HERE, YOU'RE TRESPASSING!" I yell.

I follow the image of what I'd seen and nearly slip on something wet on the wooden floor. I look down to see dark, red droplets on the floor.

My senses are in overdrive as I wipe my fingers through it and place them in my mouth. Mmh, the sweet, metallic taste sends tingles down my spine.

I lift my head in the air and inhale deeply, I let my senses lead me to a pile of red and white.

A woman in a white, satin nightgown. Her light brown curls falling over her rich brown skin, now that skin is growing inhumanly pale.

Tantalizing, red splatter ruins the innocent white of the gown. I notice now that both her wrists are slit and the once ever flowing blood has nearly stopped.

Now I'm at an impasse, I can let her die and bury her in an unmarked grave.

Or I can save which is not really saving her at all.

Without thinking, I make up my mind. I crouch down to my knees and cradle her in my lap. Her heart is nearly stopped, I bite my wrist, deep and hover it over her plump lips.

My blood drops into her mouth and just when I thought I was too late, she coughs.

I lift her body up and she drinks deeply from me.

"There, there."  I say as she looks at me, confused and frightened.

I take my wrist from her mouth and she stares at me.

"Why?" She whispers.

I tilt my head in thought.

"I don't know, but I won't have anyone dying in my church. Come, tell me what troubles you and I'll either help or put you out of your misery...permanently this time."
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Tahlia

I'm at a complete loss for words! I don't know if I'm losing my mind or I'm in hell or...something unnatural is happening.

I'm thinking all of the above! I sit in a wooden chair, in an upper room of the church. Flickering candles all around, barely lighting the room. I watch my savior with cautious eyes, he's tall, well built, brooding and dark eyes. His thick hair falls in his face at times and he pushes it back. His lips are set in a hard line, but when they're relaxed, you can admire just how plump they are.

I have to say my favorite part of his face, is his strong nose.

He's dressed in all black, but you can tell it's expensive... who is this man? What is this man?

"Why did you save me?" I ask.

His cold eyes look at me for a moment.

"Because, what you did was stupid. Why would you kill yourself?"

I gasp at him.

"Stupid? Obviously, you think a girl like me couldn't have a reason! OH, poor little rich girl! All the money in the world and she's sooo unhappy!"

He just glares at me, refusing to react.

"Well, I'll tell you something! Money means DICK when your parents die when you're young and have to endure being touched by your uncle from the ages of 6 to 18! The only reason I was free after that is because he got married and I was at the legal age to take care of myself."

I don't know why I'm telling this man my whole life story, but for some reason I wanted to. But, as I spoke I felt this fire ignite in my veins. My throat is starting to get this tickle and it's becoming unbearable.

"I married at 19 to a man I thought loved me. But, all he ever wanted to do was hit me! And he was my husband... death was my only escape. And you took that from me too! All men ever do is TAKE!" I glare at him.

He sighs and turns to open the door. He steps aside and motions for me to go.

"You want to leave? Go. I'm not keeping you." He says and I make my way past him.

"But, I would warn you to go straight home. You seem...ravenous." He smiles at me and I roll my eyes.

I hurry downstairs and out of the church, I run far, all the way until I get to my front door. It's still open the way I left it.

I go inside and lock the door. I look around the home and it's so cold, lonely. I've only ever felt lonely.

Anger seizes my heart and I make my way up the winding staircase. I walk quietly along the carpeted hall until I get to my bedroom.

I open it to see my husband lying peacefully in place. My absences unnoticed.

His chest and stomach rise and fall, without a care in the world. I'm so sick of him and his abuse!

My anger is at a boiling point and unknown to me, that fire that was burning earlier is now raging! I strike, my nails clawing at his face, his screams echoing through our home.

I lick at my fingers as I scratch and claw at him and all the while, he curses at me.

A pain erupts in my gums and I fall to my knees. A pained whimper falls from my mouth and I can't get control over my body. My body has all of a sudden been set on fire, or at least that's what it feels like.

"YOU CRAZY BITCH!" My husband yells.

The next thing I hear is the sound of crashing. My body being lifted from the floor and my senses in overdrive. I can barely make out the sweet words in my ear.

"Shh, I'm here. The pain will leave soon."

The last thing I remember is the soft caress of his lips and the world around me fades.