Harry Potter Oneshots

Harry Potter - Numb Pt 2

Summary : Harry taking care of you after your attempt.
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TW : mentions of depression, suicide, mentions of self harm.

Word Count : 1217
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It had been a week since that night.

The night you stood on the edge of the astronomy tower, ready to end it all.

The night you begged for the heavens to take you back, to rid you from this pain.

The night your shaking hands almost let go of that thin metal railing, the night icy tears stained your cheeks, that night Harry saved your life.

Since then, he hasn’t left your side. You had heard him having a word with Professor McGonagall, and since then, she had made sure there was a teacher watching you at all times.

You hated it.

You hated how people looked at you, like you were fragile, a piece of glass that could smash into thousands of pieces at any seconds.

You hated the whispers that flitted through crowds as you walked past, you hated the stares and concerned looks.

You had thought about shutting yourself in your dorm and refusing any human contact, but the professors had made sure that you weren’t alone.

At least not for the first month.

And so you were sitting in the empty common room, your head on Harry’s lap, while he absentmindedly played with your hair.

You sighed, remembering Harry’s broken expression as he looked down at your crumbling features. You gulped, forcing away tears.

You didn’t want to hurt Harry, that was never your intention. You just wanted to be free. You hadn’t realised stress could have gotten that bad, but on that night, you just wanted it over, you wanted the pain, the voices, the whispers, the panic attacks, the crying, you wanted it all to end.

You looked up at Harry and reached a hand to rest on his jawline. He looked down at you with loving eyes.

‘You alright, love?’

You nodded, but he could sense the hesitancy in your movements. ‘Are you sure? Because it’s okay if you’re not, I just— I need to know, ‘kay?’

You sighed again, dropping your hand. ‘I just— I just think this is charity work. You have to stay with me all the time, just to make sure I don’t hurt myself. I just feel like you’re forcing yourself to be with me, because of how bad my mental health is.’

You shrugged, instantly regretting your words, knowing this was just another thing for Harry to worry about. Harry sighed, grabbing your shoulders and pulling you up to face him.

‘Darling, look at me.’

You didn’t want to meet his eyes, but your gaze eventually shifted to his.

‘You are not charity work, my love. You are so, so important to me. I am not forcing myself to spend time with you. Yes, I’m scared that you might hurt yourself, but that’s because I care about you so much, and I can’t bear the thought of losing you.’

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath.
‘I just feel like you’ll resent me… because you’re doing so much and I’m still not getting better.’

‘Love! You really think that?’

You hesitated. You wanted to shake your head, say you were over exaggerating, but you knew it was pointless.
So you nodded.