Harry Potter Oneshots

Harry Potter - Numb

Summary : stress builds up, you’ve had enough of the pain, and decide to end it.
________________________________

Prompt : “What are you doing?”

TW : suicide attempt, depression, anxiety

Word count : 983
_________________________________

Hogwarts was once a beautiful sight.

But looking at it from the astronomy tower, with tears clouding your vision, it was not something you wished to look at.

The turrets and courtyards were once a place of beauty, a piece of architecture that you marveled upon. Now, however, it was looming a cold, like those thoughts that plastered across your mind.

The world was a dark, unforgiving, desolate place, where the greatest things happened to those who need nothing, and worst happened to those who have nothing.

You were tired of it.
Tired of waking up feeling as if the body you lived in was not your own. Tired of walking to classes with a field of munb around you. Tired of blocking out senses, because it was either too overwhelming, or felt as if it was nothing at all.

And that made you feel broken.
You didn’t want to feel broken.

You wanted to go back to your normal self.
The girl who was charismatic, fun, easy to be around. The one who was up for adventure, easy-going, careless.

That girl was gone, and instead, a quiet, reserved, introverted girl was replaced.

Harry hadn’t noticed. Why should he?
He was the chosen one. He had struggles of his own. He didn’t need to be burdened with yours, for you weren’t going through as much as he was.

At least, that’s what you told yourself.

You told yourself that, over and over. You weren't struggling. You weren't struggling.

You were.

So much.

And it was only getting worse.
The longer you left it, the longer doubt plagued your mind. The longer the pain riddled your thoughts. The longer you wished you had never been placed on this earth.

But you couldn’t do that to Harry.

And yet, here you were, perched on the edge of the astronomy tower, gripping the rail, hands shaking, tears streaming down your face.

You wanted to get better, but you couldn’t face it in yourself to try. It felt as if that was more painful.

Admitting you were hurting, rather than just letting it pass over you. Asking for help, instead of hiding in the dark.

That was the hardest part.

Tears fell down your face, dropping onto the cold metal that you stood on.
You weren’t wearing shoes. There was no time for that, and it wouldn’t matter anyway.

You weren’t going to be here much longer.

You took a step forward.
You were going to do it.

You were going to end everything.

But - ‘love?’

There it was. The only reason you were hesitant to jump.
Harry.

‘Love, what - what are you doing?’
‘Harry - Harry go away - p-please.’

Harry took a step forward, his hands shaking.
‘No, darling. Get- get away from the edge. Please. We can talk about this. W-we can figure this out.’

A sob rose to your throat, and although you tried to swallow it down, it wouldn’t leave.

Maybe it had always been there.

‘Harry, I can’t do this anymore.’

Those were the words he didn’t want to, couldn’t wish to hear.

‘Look, just - take a step back. Please. I can’t lose you, my love. I need you.’

You let out a choked sob and moved to wipe your tears, but at that moment, you hand left the railing, and you slipped. You let out a yell and Harry stumbled forward, grabbing your wrist and hauling you up, pulling you into him.

You cried and whimpered, trying to pull away, but he wouldn't let go.

‘Let go of me! Let me go!’
‘No! I’m never letting go of you! You’re my everything, you’re all I have left!’

He pulled away and brushed off the hair that was clung to your face. He kissed the top of your head and pulled you into his chest once more.

‘Why did you do this, Y/n?’ he asked, trying to keep his voice steady.
‘I - I can’t do this anymore. I can’t handle the pain.’

Harry’s heart broke. He smiled, but his was broken, because he knew he had left it that long, and you were in pain without anyone else to help you.

‘I’m here. I’m so, so sorry I wasn’t there for you. But I’m here now. I have you. I won’t ever let you go.’

You forced a smile.

‘This - this is going to take time.’
‘And that’s okay. I won’t leave your side. I’ll stick with you.’

‘I love you, Harry,’ you whispered, moving to lay in his chest.

He kissed the top of your head and wrapped his arms around your figure.

‘I love you too, my Y/n. Now let’s get you inside. You must be freezing.’

***

You were. Once in his dorm, he handed you his shirt and left for a brief moment to get you a glass of water. He was shaking. His voice was unsteady. He almost lost you. And he couldn’t hand;e that.

You realised that now. You knew how much pain you would cause if you jumped off that building.

‘Look, Y/n. I need you to tell me when you feel like this, okay? I want nothing more than for you to be happy and safe. I care for you so much. Too much to ever lose you.’

You smiled.

‘I’m sorry,’ you whispered, snuggling close to him. He kissed your hand and smiled at you.

‘Don’t apologise, my love. It’s okay.’

You closed your eyes and nestled your head against his chest.
Before you drifted into what felt like a restful sleep for the first time in months, you heard Harry’s voice, deep and smooth.

‘I’m always going to protect you, my darling. I love you so much.