Beautifully Obsessed

Chapter Fifty-Five: A lesson to be learned

12-03-2022

I know I am not updating as much so I want to make my chapters longer for you all, let me know if you are happy with this length!! 

I hope you enjoy,

~Aphrodite

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(Embry's POV)

I had done it again. Again. Again. Again. Again. Again.

It's only a mistake if you learn from it, so then what was this, self sabotage, some form of self harm. I was clueless, I was let down. Let down by myself, I shouldn't have expected anything different from Noah and yet I did, but there was only so many times I could avoid the blame. It was as if anytime I looked at him, anytime I really saw him, I wasn't seeing all those messed up things, instead I was seeing all the happy moments we had together. Wistfully thinking it could happen again, but it couldn't.

It couldn't. It couldn't. It couldn't. It can't.

Why can't I just get that in my head? Why wasn't Sebastian enough? Why do I keep coming back to Noah? Why did I need to pick the lesser of two evils? Why couldn't I be normal?

Why were emotions so confusing? So heavy? I felt so weighed down, not even by the thought of what he was about to do to me but at the thought of where I was meant to go from here. He whistles a tune and I dance, he pulls the strings and I move, he calls my name and I run straight into his arms. Where was the logic? The reasoning?

If I could find reasoning behind my emotions, behind my actions then I could hide behind that and avoid facing them head on. Why does my hope outshine my hate? Why so many questions and no answers?

"It can be just like it was before Embry baby, but that was before Sebastian, that means I need to take precautions that you would never go back to him, and there is only one way for you to learn" Noah explains smiling, breaking my train of thought as he folded the belt in his hands.

I scrunch my eyes up, ashamed of my stupidity. You really should have seen this coming Embry. "Take off your shirt, kneel on the floor and place your hands flat down on the bed" he sternly commanded. I mindlessly did as he said, if he did this then maybe I could finally hate him. Goosebumps rose on my back as the cold air hit my skin. Fisting my hands on the sheet, I tensed in fear for the pain I knew was about to come.

"We'll start off gently for today, five strikes with the belt." Nothing much registered at first but then the pain lit across my back with the first hit. Choking on my breath, I bit my fist to stop the cries attempting to force themselves from my mouth. I couldn't give him the satisfaction after everything else he has gotten from me today.

He hit the exact same spot for the next two times, my sobs ringing out through the room at that stage. He made sure to drag out the waiting time, it was smart of him because that was the worse part. Waiting and knowing what was to come. No matter how much it burned, I refused to beg.

"And done, I'm so proud of you babygirl, you took that like such a good girl, my good little girl" he beamed, bringing me in for a hug as I continued to sob loudly. "Y-you were right, you are worse than your father" I cried out, forced to clutch on to his shirt for support as he pulled me from the bed. He hesitated in his movements at my words, I hope they hurt half as bad as my back does right now.