Too Philophobic To Love || Ezekiel Elliott

Chapter Thirteen

   "Can you please read it?" Dak pleaded.
   "No, why should I?" Zeke said making a face.
"Because there could be more to her story than you think, Zeke. Come on, it's not gonna kill you."
"It's killing me already at the thought of it."
"Zeke, I'm serious. And Zoey agrees too, even though she stooped pretty low."
   "Why would she even say that?"
   "Why wouldn't you tell anyone that you two were going through anything? Or why Tiffany is back? Huh?"
   "Oh, God, you too? And it's all in the past now, man."
   "Zeke, I've been your best friend for six to almost seven years. You know you can tell me anything."
   "But I can also keep things to myself at the same time."
   "If it's something that'll drag you down like this, not really."
   Zeke stayed silent. Dak sighed and slid the journal towards Zeke.
   "Just give it a chance." he said before he left.
   Zeke looked down at the journal. He shook his head and went to his kitchen, going to one of his cupboards and began reaching for the whiskey bottle, then stopped. He clenched his jaw.
No . . . Not the entire bottle again. Zeke thought then grabbed the whiskey bottle then grabbed one of his cups.
He took them to his office and sat down. He hesitated on opening the journal, he took a breath then opened it.

   Dear Diary—no, journal. This is not a diary, I refuse to call this a diary. This is a feelings journal. Yeah, feelings journal. I'll probably write down some of my old feelings that I've felt in the past, but this is the first page, and to those who are being nosy and are going through my things . . . GET THE HELL OUT OF THEM BEFORE I MURDER YOU!!!!

   Zeke rolled his eyes and shook his head, knowing how over dramatic his girl is.

   I did not think that I would be sitting here in my car after my time with Dr— . . . shoot, I forgot her name . . . the therapist lady then. Zeke is off with his family, he did beg me before hand while we were at Walmart to join him at dinner. But I couldn't cancel my appointment, no matter how bad I wanted to.

   So, she didn't have to stay and watch her mom? Why did she lie to me about this . . . Can I even continue reading now? . . . Yes. I need to, if I want us to be a family again. Zeke thought then went back to reading.

   God, where do I even start with the appointment though? . . . Agony. That's how. The questions and opening up. Bleh! I hate it! Anyways, it was kind of okay, opening about my life. I can't really write in here for too long. I'm gonna have to cut it short and go home, hopefully I don't catch her trying to steal any of my things or rob me. Until next time diary—what the hell! It's a journal! A feelings journal that has my secrets!

   That's my head strong girl. Zeke thought as he smiled a little, noticing he drank the cup of whiskey.
   He grabbed the bottle, the cup, and the journal, thinking it better not to drink another cup. He instead made himself a cup of coffee. Him and coffee were going to be best friends tonight. He went back to reading as the coffee machine began to make his drink.

   I can't stand her! I want her gone already! She really has the audacity to blame us! Blame my uncle for this?! She wanted happiness and all that shit, she shouldn't have had kids! God, she have given her ovaries to someone more deserving of them. This woman gives me pain and is a pain! Heh, pain. Kind of a funny word, the more you think about it.
   Pain . . . It's something we're all familiar with. We experience it in different ways. Weather it be heartbreak, losing someone, or whatever. Everyone has gone through it, even a baby. I'm pretty sure they're heartbroken when they don't get the attention they want.
   I've experienced many types of pains. Pain from family, friends, love, ex love, losing someone, and physical. It's hard and tough, but you have to try and fight through it. You have to find something that makes you willing to fight past through it. It's not just Zeke that makes me want to fight past through everything. But for my future and for everyone else I love . . . There's no way I'm still writing in this, are you kidding?!