Chasing After You | 18+ | ✓

41: mirabelle

The water is cold as it laps at my legs while I straddle the surfboard, but the wetsuit clinging to my skin helps me maintain my warmth. I spend almost all of my time out here now. I spent plenty of my time before, but now I'm out here for nearly entire days, only going inside to eat and take the occasional nap or run.

Maybe if I stay out here long enough, I'll be able to figure out how to fix things.

"No."

"I don't believe you." Henry says, but I can see the worry in his eyes that I won't forgive him. That we've been broken beyond repair.

"Today doesn't change things Henry. It doesn't fix us." I say, my stomach churning.

He shakes his head, "I'm sorry Mira. I love you. I really do and I'm sorry it took me this long to tell you."

I tuck my arms even tighter around me, refusing to reach for him no matter how badly I want to. "I'm sorry too."

I pull away from the memory as the morning sun reflects off the water. I breathe in the salt in the air which helps soothe me. I turn back to look at the beach house, my sanctuary the last week. Despite it being January, my cheeks and nose are sunburned from having been out here.

I haven't left the house other than to surf since I got back from Charlotte. Thank god we have a private beach. We had a few photographers trespass on the beach to try to get a couple shots of me surfing with JJ a couple days ago and my dad broke their cameras. After that, we haven't seen anyone.

"Please." He says, reaching up to cup my cheek in his callused hand.

I stare him directly in the eyes as I continue breaking my own heart further. "We both have a lot of individual growth we have to make before I think we can even consider being together. I need to figure out what my next step is and more importantly who I am." I pause to think my next words through carefully. "You are an amazing person Henry, but you have demons in your past that you have to face."

"Mirabelle." His voice is pained, but I selfishly lean into his touch, unable to pull away from him yet.

"If it's meant to be, then it will be. And if it's not..." I blink back tears as I smile at Henry. "Then I'm glad we had this glimpse."

He rests his forehead on mine, our breaths mingling. He brushes his thumb over my cheek and my heart lurches.

I'm not sure who makes the move first, but our lips meet, the touch featherlight.

I hope it's not a goodbye.

There's a quiet splashing behind me and I turn to see my mother paddling on her surfboard. The ocean is calm. Surfing isn't an actual possibility today, I just like sitting out here.

"Good morning," She greets and I offer her a faint smile and wave in response.

I trail my fingers through the water as she sits up on her board, floating a few feet away from me.

My mind is plagued with memories of Henry. He's always been there my entire life. It'd be hard to find a memory that he wasn't a part of.

"I was telling your father that I think one of these days you're going to turn into a mermaid with how much time you've been spending out here."

A short chuckle escapes me, "I think it'd be fun to grow a tail."

"If it happens, make sure you let me know how so I can join you." Mom says, her green eyes almost appearing a sea-green color thanks to the water.