Chasing After You | 18+ | ✓

26: mirabelle

Oh my god.

Literally who am I?

I was so forward with Henry last night and this morning that my cheeks are turning bright red every time I think about it. And by it, I mean where I pretty much stripped in front of him and then sucked his dick.

I'm normally not...so brazen, I just don't know what Henry's used to I guess? I mean I literally saw him jerking off in the shower and I just kinda did what felt right. Oh my god what if he thinks I'm a slut? We're not even really truly dating and I-

My phone starts to vibrate next to me, catching my attention when I should be continuing to work on the article Stacey wants me to proofread for her. I'm sick of sitting at my desk, working while the rest of the interns stare at me so I'm hiding in the suite my family usually is in.

To my relief, it's Emily.

"Oh my god Em, you won't believe what fucking happened this morning." I say immediately after the phone connects to my headphones without saying hello.

"Well hello to you too! I'm assuming you're about to tell me since you've only blown my phone up since five?"

I snort, "Of course. Only had six hours to think every single little detail over in my brain. By this point I'm worried that Henry is going to think I'm a slut because I sucked his dick in the shower before he left this morning after pushing him into the pool last night and making out with him there where he stopped things before they went further because he's such a-"

"Mira, I love you, but you're speaking too fast for me and I'm still stuck on the whole you gave him a blowjob." Emily interrupts me and I drop my face into my hands, groaning loudly.

"Yeah, kinda."

Emily laughs, "Okay so it's not really a kinda here. It's an either or situation."

"Yeah."

"Didn't you guys like just have that talk last week about him willing to give things a shot?" She asks and hearing my best friend agree that it was fast doesn't make me feel any better.

"Oh my god he's going to think I'm a whore that just gives it up easily. I mean you know I don't, but it just feels so easy with him and like I wanted to, but what if this is what he thinks about me now? That I just get on my knees for literally anyone?"

I am literally spiraling.

Wish I could go back to this morning when I was fearless, drunk off of the attention Henry has been giving me.

"He doesn't think that and if he does, then fuck him. You're better off. Also stop calling yourself a whore and a slut. Cut yourself some slack, you've only been in love with him for forever. It makes sense that you want to be close to him physically now that you practically have him emotionally." Emily explains and it does make sense when she puts it like that.

"Yeah. I guess you're right." I agree hesitantly, but my brain is a little bit harder to explain that too. "But-"

"Have you talked to Henry today?" She asks and I rub my temples.

"No. The team is flying to Arizona and I'm pretty sure he's still on the plane."

"Then there's no but. I'm sure he'll call you when he lands. Henry finally pulled his head out of his ass and saw what a catch you are, I don't think he's going to let you go because you sucked his dick. If anything, it might make him fall harder for you." She jokes, trying to get me to laugh but I can't shake the knot in my stomach.

"Em, I don't know."

"You forget I was there before anything really happened between you two. He's liked you for a while. It only took him a little bit longer than the rest of us to figure it out. If it will make you feel better then talk to him about it. I'm sure he'd be willing to have an adult conversation with you about it."