Sweet Destiny

Memories...

I've been pacing my living room for two damn hours! My mind is a string of nerves as my reaction today must have raised an alarm with Jonas.

Now do you understand why I've been single? These episodes can happen when I least expect it and I really don't wish to go traipsing around advertising my trauma.

When I kissed him at the beach today, my body felt alive, tingling all over. The last time I felt like that was when I met Kendrick, Kairo's biological father. But sadly after 2 years and a proposal later, his body was found in an alley.

He was stabbed several times and the Police quickly closed the case, citing robbery. I knew better though, Kendrick would never be caught dead in that area plus my father had been nagging me about Michael.

When I outright refused to marry him, the piece of shit offered to put me right beside Kendrick in the cemetery.

Sitting on the couch, the memories hit me hard causing me to clutch my chest as my breathing becomes labored. Hot tears flow down my face and I swipe at them angrily with the back of my hand!

Pull yourself together girl! You're in control of your life now! Own it, live it!

For once my subconscious utters just what I need to hear. I practice my breathing technique and after 10 minutes I'm fully functional once more.

I decide to call Jen, given that the kids are still fast asleep. She picks up on the third ring.

"You ghosted me for two days Latts! Not cool!" She whines immediately. I chuckle in response but I guess she can still read me.

"Oh no, what happened?" She asks panicking. "Oh wait. Please tell me you got some good dick that has you hooked!" Jen whisper yells.

I laugh this time before I get serious. "Jeennnn, it's such a mess and I don't know what to do" Sighing, I start twisting the end of my lounge pants as I recall everything.

She's silent even after I'm done speaking. "Jen, say something please." I plea, feeling bummed about the situation.

"Babe, you do realize that if you're gonna give things with Jonas a real shot , you'll have to open up a bit right?" She states the obvious.

"I know that! But what if he doesn't want my baggage? What if he walks away?" I ask, feeling rather dejected.

She laughs lightly, "Girl that man ain't going nowhere anytime soon! Do you think it's a coincidence you met and now y'all can't keep your hands off each other?"

Jen's probably right but doubts are filling my mind! "There's no guarantee he will stick around Jen, my baggage is not light!" I reason.

She hisses her teeth, "Stop self sabotaging and give this a chance Latoya!" Jen can be a hardball when she wants to. "Don't end whatever this is without taking a real shot! Get some dick, lose yourself and take a leap of faith!"

"Girrrll, you're saying get some dick like I did not just tell you what happened when I almost did!" I wail.

Jen is silent for a while, "I think you should watch what happens first. If he's persistent and genuine, then open up a little."

Her suggestion opens a whole new can of worms, "Remember I'm still under WITSEC so I can't say too much Jen and I don't want to build a relationship on lies!"

A surge of anger courses through me, as even from the grave Michael is still fucking me over!

"I know it's complicated but take it in strides boo. He may very well surprise you by being supportive!" I can always depend on her to be a voice of reason. "Plus you said he has some baggage himself, maybe you both need this channel to offload."

Sighing, I pick my wine up and take a long drink. "Hmmm, let's see. He's supposed to bring some stuff for Aria so let's see how this goes."

Jen and I continue talking for a while longer, before we bid each other goodnight with a promise to call soon.

I sit there analyzing my life, and my mind flips to my father. Some days I wish I could speak to him, just to ask why he treated me that way after Mom died.

Other days, I just want to sit across from him in that prison and tell him that I'm the one who put him there. I'm surprised I even reacted this way to Jonas, as after escaping that prison I called a life, I hated men.

The thought of a man touching me disgusted me especially since I had terrible nightmares reliving the trauma Michael dished me.

The worst of them all was when I was late getting home to start dinner.

Flashback

Kairo was 2 years old, the nursery called and said he was running a high fever. I rushed out, picked him up then drove like a mad woman to the pediatrician.

The wait was lengthy and when I realized the time, I had to wield Michael's name to be seen immediately. I tried calling him, left several messages and he never replied.

I had to go to three pharmacies to get his medication before heading home. I guess not getting home to a home cooked meal and a wife who greets you like a King was a huge blow to his ego.

Within a second of closing the front door, my face was slammed into it. The crick of my nose and the gush of blood was the tell tale sign it was broken .

He grabbed Kairo from my hands and placed him in his high chair, before dragging me into the bedroom.

Michael beat me mercilessly, and despite screaming and telling him about Kairo being sick he continued.

Thirty minutes later, I managed to crawl from the bed to check on Kairo. Pulling the medication from my bag, he walked in to see me administer it.

Realization dawned on him, he retrieved his phone from his briefcase and after checking it, he looked at me with remorse.

Not once did an apology pass his lips, he simply took Kairo and nursed him for the night while Dr. Brennan tended to my wounds.

For days, I couldn't ambulate properly so Michael hired a nanny/housekeeper. My shithouse of a father visited and even when I bared my soul and asked him for help, he said:

"Learn how to satisfy a man, atleast your mother was good at it."

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