Healed by the Ocean

Chapter 35 Andy's POV

The anniversary of Connor's death was a date that I was not looking forward to for more than the obvious reasons. It finally felt like the last couple months had gotten Selene closer to "back to normal." I was beyond worried that the anniversary would bring her right back to that depression. She didn't need that. It wasn't healthy for her to just sit in bed all day. I would do anything for that woman, but it would break my heart to see her like that again.

I became extra worried when I showed up to her house and found her surrounded by bottles of all kinds of alcohol. I tried to talk her out of it. I knew I was doing a half hearted job at that, but I didn't want to push too hard and have it blow up in my face. I would take her lead on how she wanted to spend the day. I was just thankful that I could be there with her. I wanted to always be with her even on the hard days.

Josephine's suggestion wasn't the best, but it was clearly what she thought was best, so I was going to be there to support her. The universe must have known that she needed the sunshine because it was a beautiful day. We spent the day just the three of us on the beach. I will always be thankful for the friendship Selene has with Josephine. She needed someone who had gone through the process of becoming a widow to guide her through the roughest parts. Josephine was a feisty woman, but she was exactly what Selene needed. She told us about her late husband. As the day went on, Selene seemed to not focus on the sad part of the day, but remembering the parts of Connor that we loved so much.

It was funny to hear her side of when they first met. I remember when Connor told me that story. I knew I would instantly like her and boy was I right and knowing Connor, I knew she was perfect for him. Its hard to be on that side of it all sometimes. I genuinely love the woman sitting next to me, but I also know how perfect she was for Connor. Its conflicting and confusing. I think we have navigated it well, but sometimes the uncertainty creeps up on me. Especially in times like this.

I had stopped drinking after a while and was sober enough to get some food and water in Selene before she drank herself into a stupor. I laid down with her in my arms in bed. I knew she was still awake because she would make these soft sighs. I wanted to ask what she was thinking about, but my insecurities weren't sure if the answer was what we wanted to her. I just focused on the feeling of her in my arms and how perfect she had always felt right here. She was everything I had dreamed of and I would be happy right here for forever.

Her breathing started to even out as she drifted off into sleep and as I drifted off with her I heard her whisper.

"I'm falling in love with you."

I couldn't help but gasp. She was too drunk and too asleep to hear or feel me react. My mind started racing a mile a minute. Was she dreaming of Connor? Or is she talking to me? Is she only saying this because she is drunk? Does she mean it or is she only drunk talking?

My overthinking started going a mile a minute and it was impossible to stop. I had been wanting to hear her say something like that for weeks and now I finally hear it and its at the worst time and I don't even know if she said it to me or if she knows she even said it in the first place. I had to get out of bed and clear my head for a second. Walking out on the patio, I had took a deep breath and reassured myself that no matter what she will say it for real when the time is right. I knew that I was madly in love with her and was pretty sure she was getting there with me too. At least that was all I could hope for.

I sat on the patio overlooking the moonlight on the water trying to calm my mind.

Connor, if you're up there watching, I hope you know that I love her and will do anything to make her happy.

I eventually felt myself nodding off and went back to bed. Selene was spread out like a starfish on the bed. I couldn't help but laugh at the softly snoring beauty that was sprawled across the bed. I gently moved her arms so I could snuggle in with her and felt myself nodding off with the scent of magnolias taking over my senses.

The next day I woke up to her hungover groans.

"Ugh I shouldn't have drank so much. Am I dying?" She asked the ceiling

I couldn't help but laugh next to her, "Sorry babe, it's just your body telling you that you shouldn't drink that much over the age of 28."

"This has got to be what a slow and painful death is like." She groaned.

"Calm down drama queen. I'm going to go get greasy food and pedialyte. I promise you will survive the day."

"God bless you." She moaned with her arm over her eyes to block out any light streaming through the windows.

I couldn't help but laugh as I left.

The rest of the day was spent trying to coax her out of bed. But the late afternoon she announced that she had drank enough pedialyte to feel like a normal human again and finally got out of bed.

We were eating dinner out on the deck overlooking the water.

"Thank you for yesterday." She said quietly.

"Selene, you don't need to thank me for that. I will always be here to help you however you need it."

She go up and slid on to my lap, wrapping her arms around me. I held her as we sat there in silence.

"I love you Andy." She whispered.

I looked down at her with shock and questions.

"You do?"

"I mean how could I not?" She laughed. "You're the most supportive person alive as well as the most patient man. I'm lucky to have you in my life and even luckier to call you mine."

I cupped her face and kissed her deeply. I could feel her body melt into mine. I pulled away to lean my forehead to hers.

"I think it goes without saying, but I love you too." She pulled me back into a kiss.

I was so happy I could burst. Nothing could take this away from us. It wasn't perfect, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world.