After Selene loses the love of her life in an accident, she finally starts moving forward with her life only to be racked with the guilt of falling for one of the last person she should fall for.
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Little did Selene know, I had brought a couple of things including my fire starter in hopes that the night wouldn't be over after the carnival. I raced back to the truck after she went to get the wine and gathered everything together. Armed with a birthday cupcake, a fire starter and a couple of blankets and pillows, I dragged a few logs and sticks down to our spot and set up the blanket and pillows against a log. I was working on getting the fire started when I saw her walking down. She had changed out of her jeans and into a pair of black leggings and an oversized sweatshirt.
"Oh wow!" She exclaimed when she got close enough to see what I had laid out.
"Happy birthday!!" I yelled
As if on cue the fire started to crackle as it came to life.
"This is amazing! Andy you didn't have to do any of this."
"I know, but you deserve all of this. Hopefully 33 will be a million times better than 32."
"Hey!" She laughed, "I will forever be 29!"
I burst out laughing, "So sorry, hopefully this version of 29 is better than the last."
"It'll be a million times better!" She shouted through laughter. Her laugh was always one of the most beautiful sounds and I hadn't heard it in a long time. It was music to my ears. She sounded free and actually happy for the first time in a long time.
As she turned around the grab the wine, I lit a candle in the fire and brought out the cupcake she turned around as I putting the candle on it and I heard a small gasp escape her.
"No birthday is complete without cake and a wish." I said softly, "happy birthday, make a good wish."
She squeezed her eyes shut before opening them back up and blowing out the candle with a short burst of air. She looked back up at me.
"You're the best. I hope you know that."
I just shrugged, "You deserve it all." I tried to sound nonchalant as I pulled her into a quick hug before pulling away. "Now open that bottle woman!" I yelped
She burst into laughter before pulling the cork out with a flourish and taking a big gulp from the bottle. I added another log to the fire before sitting down on the blanket next to her and leaned against the log in the sand. The heat from the fire and the sound of the waves was so relaxing that I closed my eyes and just enjoyed the soft sounds. I was jolted from this state when Selene scooted closer and leaned against me tucked into my side. Her proximity took me by surprise. I had to do everything I could to act like it didn't affect me when in reality it affected me so much. I was painfully aware of every bit of her next to me. The silkiness of her hair as it tickled my neck and arms. The soft sounds of her breathing. The floral scent of her perfume wafted around me taking me to a garden of gardenias. I was sure that the tension was radiating off of me as she snuggled in closer. I took a long gulp of the wine straight from the bottle in hopes that it calmed all the tension I had pent up inside of me.
I instantly lost all of my thoughts as I felt her hum in contentment against me. I felt like a ball of tension and only hoped and prayed that she couldn't feel it. As anxious as it was making him, her leaning into me was out of my dreams. She felt soft and molded perfectly to fit in his arms. It took everything I could not to wrap her up in me.
Her voice broke me out of my loving but anxious thoughts.
"Thank you for today Andy. It was amazing. I felt like a normal person and I didn't think that would've been possible on a day like today." She looked up at me from her position, "you're kinda amazing." She said softly.
Everything in my being wanted to just bend my head down the few inches of difference and kiss her.
I looked down to meet her eyes. "You're pretty amazing too. I wasn't kidding when I said that you deserve everything and more. I'm just lucky to be spending today with you." I wanted to say more, but I knew it wasn't the time. We stayed like that just staring into each other's eyes for more than was necessary before she broke contact and silently stared into the fire for a second. She then leaped up and muttered something about needing to go to bed. She looked almost looked panicked as she started to kick sand on the fire.
"I'm sorry Andy, I just got really tired." she mumbled without making eye contact. I just followed her with the stuff. I placed the uneaten cupcake and the bottle of wine on the counter before making my way towards her. She still wasn't looking at me. I gave her a quick hug before releasing her.
"I thinking you're feeling something uncomfortable or confusing right now, but just know that I'm not going to run away from you. I will always be here. Happy Birthday Selene."
Her jaw went slack and she looked confused when she finally looked up at me. After a quick second, I turned and walked out of the front door.
I drove home much like the other night. I was kicking myself. I had pushed boundaries and I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. Would she stop talking to me? Would she get angry? I wanted to ask how she was feeling, but I knew I couldn't handle an official rejection. I knew that there was next to no chance that she felt the same way that I did, but I that tiny ounce of hope was all I hung on to.
While I had that tiny ounce of hope, my brain also harped on what I said before I left on repeat in my head. Fuck I had blown it in that exact moment I decided to open my mouth.
