After Selene loses the love of her life in an accident, she finally starts moving forward with her life only to be racked with the guilt of falling for one of the last person she should fall for.
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It had been a little over two weeks of space from Andy. It had been weird. I had gone from talking to and seeing him literally everyday to finding out something crazy and then not seeing him for over two weeks. After talking to the group about feeling what I felt , I still needed time to gain the guts to be sure what I wanted to do. So here was I making up my mind.
I was standing at his door working up the courage to actually knock. I took a deep breath.
You got this!
I reached towards the door about to make contact with the door when it jerked open.
We both let out tiny yelps.
I watched as Andy shook his head as if to make sure this wasn't a dream or I wasn't some sort of mirage. I couldn't help but laugh a little bit.
"I'm real." I said softly.
"I needed to make sure. It felt too good to be true."
"Can we talk?"
"Yes of course. Come in." He opened the door and gestured inside.
I had been inside his house a million times before, but I hadn't noticed anything before because I honestly hadn't cared to and now I wanted to take it all in. The house was small, but it seemed to fit him perfectly. The walls were void of color, but he had a couple of framed landscape prints hanging on the walls. I sat down on the couch in the living room. I looked down at my hands.
I could do this.
His voice shook me from my inner pep talk.
"You wanted to talk?"
"Yes!" Jesus calm down crazy I took a deep breath "I'm sorry about how we left things last time we talked."
"You don't have to apologize Selene. I put you in a horrible situation. I'm the one who is sorry."
"Yeah, but it wasn't something that I was completely oblivious about. Well I was oblivious about how you felt, but you telling me, brought my own feelings to light and that's what I needed space to figure out."
"You have feelings too?" He whispered
I just nodded. "They make me feel super guilty."
"Mine make me feel super guilty too." He admitted.
"I'm sure."
I was shaking. "This time away from each other was lonely and I missed you." I admitted, "I'm scared about starting something new."
"I missed you too."
"I definitely don't want to do that again, but I'm also not one hundred precent sure about jumping into anything so quickly."
"I understand. I'm not trying to push you into anything your not ready."
"Thanks Andy." I whispered.
"I've been in love with you for a long time. I don't care how long you need as long as there is some bit of hope for me."
"I think that's what makes me anxious."
"How so?"
"You felt like this when Connor was still alive?"
He dropped his head into his hands. "I'm ashamed to admit it, but I did know that I had virtually no hope. He was my best friend and you both were soulmates, that was plain as day. I was just happy to be included in your lives.honestly, If it hadn't slipped out the other night I don't know if I would've ever admitted it to you unless you asked."
I just sighed. It was a lot of information to take in but I didn't change the fact that I did have feelings for this man in front of me.
I grabbed his hands and looked at him. "This is all hard for me because I have feelings for you too and I'm still not sure how to process them all. I do know that I would be lost without you in my life."
He looked at me with hope glimmering in his eyes. "Are you saying I have a chance?" He asked
"I need to go slow, but I do want to explore these feelings with you." I said in almost a whisper.
"Really?" He still looked unsure.
"Yes. I feel so guilty, but ignoring things has only made things worse for us." I felt a little more confident in my decision. "But we are going at a snails pace because this whole 'dating' thing scares me." I laughed using air quotes.
He kissed my hands that were still holding his and laughed, "I don't care how slow we go. The fact that you're still here is a win for me."
"Even if you're only allowed to hold my hand for the next year?" I smirked
His laughter boomed around the room. "Yes. I can say with 1000 percent confidence that I would just hold your hand for as long as you wanted."
I couldn't help the smile that took over my face. "I feel a million times lighter."
"I feel a million times less stressed. The guys at worked kicked me off a job the other day because I was stressing them out."
I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm so sorry!"
"Apparently stress working runs in the family. Dad said he had a record month when mom broke up with him."
"You told your parents?"
"Yeah. Is that ok?" He rubbed the back of his neck.
"Y-yeah I'm just surprised."
"It was plain as day to them that something was bothering me. Dad actually helped me calm down a little because I was dangerously close to showing up at your house."
"Yeah, that probably wouldn't have helped. I just sat outside your house in my car for ten minutes and then outside your door for another five just trying to hype myself up."
"He said that the fact that you hadn't fold me to fuck off was a good sign and that if I wanted to have a chance in hell that I would wait for you. I'm so glad I did."
I couldn't help tucking a piece of his hair behind his ears. "I'm glad he talked some sense into you." I whispered.
"I promise to follow your lead on this. I know it's a million times harder for you and I really don't want to mess this up."
"Thanks Andy that mean more than you realize." I couldn't help but pull his body towards me for a hug. It immediately felt like home when he wrapped his arms around me and I knew I had made the right decision.
