After Selene loses the love of her life in an accident, she finally starts moving forward with her life only to be racked with the guilt of falling for one of the last person she should fall for.
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Its officially been six months since the accident and I don't know how I've survived this long. Honestly Andy played a huge part in that or I probably would've starved or slept myself to death. Is that even possible? Who knows but I was definitely close.
Josephine dragging me to the the meetings has helped a ton. I feel for Patrick the most. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like losing your mom so quickly and so young. Everyone seemed to rally around him and I could understand why. We all were adults who could process the emotions that came up albeit not all that well, but he was still a kid who didn't fully know how to handle all the the hard emotions that come with grief. They have helped with making me feel like less of a burden on Andy and my fear that a lot of things have passed me by because of Connor's death. I'm still worried that kids are not in the cards for me but I know that's out of my control.
I've been writing more and more. All of my thoughts constantly turn to thoughts of Connor and the stories that him and Andy have told me over the years. I'd like to think that he would be proud of my writing right now. Especially since it has been so hard to come back to. I felt like I had writers block for so long, that now the words are trickling out it feels monumental. He was always so proud of my work. I remember he would always have a couple copies in his car or in his briefcase and would tell literally everyone about it. When I mean everyone, random people in the grocery store, on the street, at the beach. I used to tell him how embarrassing it was, but I would kill to hear him talking up my book to some random old lady on the street.
'Excuse me ma'am, have you heard of the newish New York Times bestselling author Selene Davis?' Him gesturing towards me. And of course the old lady would instantly be memorized by him, I had always laughed at how much the old ladies loved him and would joke that if I wasn't around that some cougar would snap him up in a heartbeat.
'Why no, I haven't. What have you written?' She would ask me 'Its called Love in a Small Town' I would start and then he would interject, 'I happen to have a copy right here. That the author can sign for you.' She would laugh a little and tell me that she would love to read it.
It had happened so many times I knew his tactics. I swear he was the sole reason that I got on the best seller list. We had ran out of the free copies pretty early after being published and for some reason he always had multiple copies even though he gave out copies almost daily. I couldn't help but laughed at the memory.
Today my writing was making me cry and laugh at the same time. I hadn't told Andy that I was writing about them, but it was hard not to. On paper, they probably shouldn't be friends. Connor's family was on the affluent side. They spent weekends at the beach and knew influential people around the world where as Andy's family were blue collar workers. They had owned the contracting company before Andy took it over and turned it into something more, but before they were very poor in comparison. So it was a little shocking how quickly the boys locked on to each other and it was even more shocking that their friendship lasted years beyond expected. They quickly transcended friendship and became brothers who would go above and beyond for each other. When I think of them as brothers I always laugh a little at the memory of Andy's best man speech at our wedding. Connor was quick to correct him about their relationship.
"Ahem," he cleared his throat. "Some of you might know me but for those who don't, I'm Andy, Connor's best friend." "Brother!" Connor yelled from behind him. Andy laughed "Sorry, his brother." We met back when girls still had cooties and wrecking havoc around the beach was our kind of fun. Now, while some of the older residents of Edenton, might be wary of us when we are seem together, but we are mostly upstanding citizens and don't think girls have cooties anymore. Connor, You've always been my best friend and partner in crime from that day that you saved me from the bullies. Even though you're your toughest critic, you're one of the smartest people I know as well as the kindest. While you're alright, I'm still not sure how you convinced Selene to marry you. Selene, blink if you're being held against your will." We all burst out laughing, " in all seriousness, welcome to the family Selene. You're the perfect addition and I'm so glad that Connor was able to find someone like you. Con, I'm so happy for you, Selene, sorry you have to third wheel it when we are together. We'll try to include you in as many of our adventures as we can." Raising his glass, "To Connor and Selene, may you have a long and happy life together."
I knew I needed to so something for Andy to show him how grateful I was for all the support he has given me. He has been my rock in all of this and I know I need to show him so important he has become to me. I decided that I was actually going to make him dinner for a change and try to treat him the way he has been treating me for months now. I needed to show him that he is appreciated and will always be appreciated.
