After Selene loses the love of her life in an accident, she finally starts moving forward with her life only to be racked with the guilt of falling for one of the last person she should fall for.
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Josephine was very little help in easing my anxiety when it came to this date. We had gone out doing "date like things" but this felt so different. We had sort of come to terms with our feelings and now it was actually a date instead of two "friends" dancing around their feelings.
Josephine's words of wisdom were "go get waxed"
I mean she isn't wrong, but that's definitely not happening tonight. Sure I'm constantly horny, but there is no way I'm ready for anyone new. Thankfully Andy is fully aware of this and I know he wouldn't push me to do anything. I'd like to think that he is just as nervous as I am, but I doubt it. I knew would be fine. He refused to tell me where we were going, so I tried to dress for anything. I figure he would warn me if we were doing something crazy.
I knew I needed to calm down, getting anxious over tonight wasn't going to make anything much better. I took a few deep breaths and poured myself a glass of wine. I flipped through my closet for the millionth time before I settled on a black top, some jeans and bright blue flats. It was understated but cute. I let my hair fall in waves around my shoulders and just put a light dusting of makeup on. I was feeling more and more confident as I got ready. This was going to be great. I just knew it. Things felt almost as natural with Andy as they did with Connor and while that scared the fuck out of me, it also was a little comforting. I wasn't throwing myself into the deep end of dating with someone brand new. God, the thought of that sounds fucking awful.
I pour myself another glass of wine while I waited for Andy. He had texted saying that he would be there in ten. My nerves were starting to get the best of me. My brain was ping ponging between cancelling and being determined to go explore this relationship with Andy. I had hoped that it wouldn't always be like this with him. I wanted to get back to the point where being around him didn't make me feel like a nervous teenager on her first date. The wine was slowly starting to put a damper on my nerves until I heard a knock on the doorbell. I jumped up like something had bitten me on the ass.
I couldn't help but laugh at myself as I opened the door. His face broke into a huge grin as he opened the door.
"Hey, yo-you look beautiful." He rasped I could see his throat bob as he gulped like a cartoon character. It was dining wonders for my nerves.
"Thanks" I sudden became extra anxious and excited all in one big feeling. He was there wearing jeans that hugged his backside a little too well and a white button down with the sleeves rolled up as if to show off the rugged muscles of his forearms. I could feel the butterflies in my belly moving around almost frantic at this point. I needed to get out of this house before I decided to drag him inside. I took a slight deep breath as I stepped out towards him. As if he realized that I needed that push, he held out his hand for me to grab on to. I couldn't ignore the tingled that raced up my arm as I placed my hand in his.
"Let's go." I announced with a little less gusto that intended.
He glanced back at me with a questioning look and I just smiled and admitted, "I'm a little nervous."
He stopped and pulled me towards him. Holding my hands in his, "hey, we don't have to go anything. I am ok if we postpone this or just stay in tonight."
I seriously didn't know how I had lucked into the most understanding man in the entire world. I hated that I had made him question this though. I did want to go out with him, it just scared me.
I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair right above his ear I couldn't help notice his head slightly lean into my touch. "I don't know how I got so lucky with you. I'm not so nervous that I don't want to go, this is just a big step. I still definitely want to go out with you tonight."
His face lit up. "Oh thank goodness. I had big plans to sweep you off your feet tonight."
"You do?"
"I definitely do. You're not going to know what hit you. Prepare to be wooed. " And with that he dragged me to his truck and opened the door for me to get in. I smiled to myself as I climbed in. I watched as he closed my door and walked around to his side of the car. Not only was he polite and caring, but he was beyond beautiful. His muscles rippled as he climbed in. How this man had stayed single for so long was insane and I was beyond lucky.
I could see the hint of a smile on his face as he started up the truck, having noticed that I had been staring. I shook myself out of my stupor and tried to focus on the road in front of us. I finally broke the silence.
"Where are we going?" I asked
"There is a cool bar a couple towns over that I heard was fun. There is also a good Mexican place near by that I thought you'd like and had wondered why I hadn't brought you there before."
"Mmm you know I love good Mexican food!"
We were there before I knew it. The restaurant was a little building with a sprawling patio lit with strings of soft lights. I was so distracted by the lights that I was jolted back to reality when my door opened and Andy was there holding his hand out to help me out of the truck. I took his hand as I slid out of the truck. The patio lights were a little extra dazzling out of the truck that I hadn't realized that I didn't let go of Andy's hand and just started walking towards the restaurant. Soft tejano music played overhead as we walked in.
Dinner was perfect. We talked about random things. I laughed about how this didn't really feel like a first date because we have known each other for years. We didn't need to get to know each other because we already knew everything. I was curious about one thing.
"So something has been on my mind lately." I started
"Ok?" He looked at with an eyebrow raised.
"How have you stayed single for so long?" I questioned.
"Ha, well its hard to meet someone when you're in love with your best friend's wife."
"So your plan was to just stay single for ever?"
""Ha no, I figured I would eventually meet someone, but for a long time I compared everyone to you. Even though I knew I couldn't be loved by you, you were the standard I compared everyone to and no one came close. In recent years, I just threw myself into work and figured fate would help me out one way or another. I guess it did in a shitty way."
"Yea fate is kinda a bitch, I'm very thankful that you stay single, not just for right in this moment, but also because I'm sure whoever you would've been dating wouldn't have appreciated how much time you spent making sure I took care of myself."
"This is true. Even normal people were questioning it, but its not for them to questioned. I would've been there for you whether I was in love with you or not."
I couldn't help the tears that formed in my eyes and I reached out to hold his hand.
"I'm so thankful for you, more than I think you realize."
He squeezed my hand in response.
We finished dinner and eventually made it to the bar. There was a 90s cover band playing and it was packed. I couldn't help the grin that stretched across my face.
"Your face is exactly why I was excited to bring you here!" He laughed over the music.
"Let's get drinks and then go dance!" I yelled as I dragged him to the bar.
We spent the rest of the night dancing our asses off. We were doubled over laughing as we each tried to see who had the goofiest dance move and singing along to all the songs of our childhood.
When we finally got home, the nerves of the beginning of the night that I thought were gone came back in full force when I realized how badly I wanted him to kiss me.
