Starting Over Again

Chapter 23

She opened her eyes and the first thing she saw us the while ceiling of Colin's room. She turn her gaze and she saw him still fast asleep. She gets up and fixes his comforter. She sits down beside him.

She glances at the clock on the wall and it's already eight in the morning. It's been ten hours since she left the house. Ten hours since she left you. And if you will ask her if she regrets choosing Colin over you? She didn't know to be honest. She wants to curse herself for doing that to you. For hurting the woman she loves but every time she sees Colin's condition, she knew what she did is right. She's right that she choose him

She doesn't know what was wrong or what was right.

"Scarlett?" Her attention divert to him when he called her name. She didn't notice that he was already awake. "What are you doing here?"

She moves close to him and smiles. A smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Why? I'm not allowed to be here?"

"Did you and Y/N talk already? Are you here to say your last goodbye?"

Her forehead furrowed, "wh-what are you saying? What made you say that?"

"She goes here yesterday to talk, more like we fought. She begged me to let you two go but I didn't agree until you let me go. I bravely said that even though you're going to choose her. Now I'm ready to hear it from you." Colin smiled at her, it was okay with him if she let him go. It's real. He knew that this will gonna happen sooner or later. Because he knew that he was not the first. He notices that Scarlett is looking at the floor and didn't say anything. "It's okay, don't worry, Scarlett. I un—"

"I chose you"

It took a couple of minutes for Colin to process what she just said. It feels like his world stopped for a moment with that three words. He doesn't know what to feel.

"W-what? Why?"

"It doesn't matter why"

"It does matter, Scarlett. Why? It should be her. Even if you didn't say it I know you love her more. If you choose me because of your pity. Then I don't need your pity, Scarlett" he said but Scarlett is sure that this isn't just pity that made her choose him. Colin is important, too. It's just she's just really torn between both of you. And it becomes worse now.

"It should be her. Not me"

Scarlett didn't answer because they heard a knock. She opens the door and it's Colin's doctor.

"Good morning, doc" Scarlett greeted. Just for a minute, she doesn't want to go to her messed mind and think about what's happening. She thinks that her head will go to explode anytime if she didn't rest.

"Good morning" the doctor greets then back to his serious face. He read Colin's chart and they know it's not good. "I'm going to be straight to the point. Colin your condition is getting worse. The cancer cells are already spread in your lungs and heart. Your other organs are also failing"

Scarlett and Colin shared a look. They knew its already worse. Scarlett holds Colin's cold hands. "What about the chemo? It's supposed to kill some cancer cells right?"

"The chemo is not working for you, Colin. Your cancer cells are aggressive. I'm sorry but I have to say this. We have to stop the chemo because your body is already weak and it doesn't do the job anymore. We can't do anything"

She doesn't know what to feel, Colin is in the worse condition and the chemo for him is not working. She never has been worried until today. And it is because of her selfish acts.

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