That Pretty Boy (COMPLETED)

Special Chapter II

"Hindi ako makapaniwalang ginagawa ko na to kase sa isip ko lang siya ginawa e .. I didn't know that I will finally doing this .. I know it's a sin to do this. "

"But here I am recording .. I'm sorry Pa, Ma .. I know I hurt the both of you .. at alam kong nasasaktan parin kayo dahil sakin but ... I want you to know that it's not your fault because this is my fault. Everything. I'm sorry ... Pa.. Ma ... I'm really sorry for everything. Lahat ginawa niyo para sakin .. pero ako lang tong' loko-loko at mas piniling sirain ang buhay ko. .."

"Because I don't know ... hindi ko alam kung bakit mas pinili ko yong ganito. Maybe I'm just tired of everything. "

"And to my sister, my one and only sister, my bestfriend and my everything. I love you Brylee and I know I will hurt you even more after this but I want you to stay .. I want you to be strong and be brave for me .. to our parents even if I failed. I want you to stay. I want you to live and be happy kahit wala na ako. I lost sweetheart. I lost my purpose, I lost my self. I lost everything I have in me."

"And to the man I trusted the most, I love you and I really do. Even after you did that to me. I forgive you. I lost myself and I lost myself even more because of you but I don't want to blame you. I don't want to blame anybody because I don't want to give myself a burden even more because I'm tired already. .."

"I'm losing my sanity, that's why I decided to choose this way dahil ayoko nang mahirapan. .. I'm sorry to my family and my sister ... I really really love you all .. and I want you all to be happy kahit na wala na ako dahil gusto ko kahit na hindi na tayo kompleto maging masaya parin kayo. Because that's want I want... I love you .. goodbye .."

And like the last time .... She's gone .. she's completely gone ...

I never thought that ... I'd see her like this the first time and to see her again like this ... is breaking my heart into pieces.

Napakawalang kwenta kong kapatid dahil hindi ko man lang napansin na ganito na pala kalala .. na may ganito siyang pinagdadaanan.

Pakiramdam ko napakaselfish ko nang mga panahon na kasama ko siya dahil ako tong' palaging nagkwekwento sa sarili. Ako lage.. hindi ko man lang siya binigyan nang pagkakataon para magkwento siya sa sarili niya, sa lahat nang bagay na gusto niyang sabihin.

When I see her hanging at her room that day was one of the traumatic and most vulnerable I am. And after that I got traumatized.

Umalis kami sa dating bahay namin at pilit na binago ang buhay namin. We tried to forget but we didn't.

Ang sakit sakit sa puso na malaman ang buong katotohanan sa pagkawala nang kapatid ko.

Kahit ilang balde o drum pa yata ang maipon ko sa kakaiyak ay wala nang magbabago. Hindi na babalik ang kapatid ko.

That evening .. wala ako ginawa sa loob nang kwarto ko kung hindi umiyak nang umiyak. Wala nang pakealam kung marinig pa nang kapitbahay namin.

I cried because it hurts so much na hanggang sa wala nang mailabas na luha ang mga mata ko.

Tatlong araw akong nagkulong sa kwarto ko. Hindi ako pumasok.

Tulala maghapon. Walang akong ginawa kundi mag-isip o di kaya ay umiyak sa mga araw na yon.

Hindi ko alam kung paanong tatangapin nang buo ang lahat nang nangyare.

But one thing I realized .. I want to do what my sister want me to do. So I decided to talk to my parents. To clear everything.

I want to fixed everything .. para sa kapatid ko at para sa pamilya namin.

Lumabas ako sa kwarto ko nang dumating ang gabi. This is the time I decided that I want to talk to them in between our dinner.