𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘙𝘢𝘤𝘦 ; 𝘊𝘩𝘭𝘰𝘦 𝘉𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦

chapter thirty seven

Next was her bedroom where we were back to the earth tones and plants. And she had some really interesting art pieces hung on her walls.

"My favorite part is the balcony. It's nice to come out here and just-"

"-exist?" I breathed, looking out over the openness of it all.

From the corner of my eye I could see the actress smile before nodding, "Yeah. Exist."

"How come your boyfriend doesn't live with you?"

Megan sighed, "It's complicated with Colson I guess. He's had a hard time trusting women in the past. He doesn't ever fall in love with them."

"And let me guess, you're the first girl he's ever loved?" I finished off for her.

"So he says. I'm trying to be patient. I guess, love him the way he needs but something tells me he needs a friend more than a girlfriend."

"Have you talked to him about it?" I looked over at her while she looked down over the railing and shook her head.

"He has a daughter, him and the baby mama share custody I guess. It's his turn to have her. I haven't met her yet but from what he's told me she seems cool."

I couldn't help but smile sarcastically and shake my head, "This Colson sounds a lot like me. Not easy to trust people, doesn't like falling in love..."

"Don't compare yourself to him. You both are different. And don't take this the wrong way but if you and I were dating, I'm sure things would be very different from him and I."

My tongue poked out and licked my lips, "How so?"

Megan smiled at me, jutting her hip out and her long tan legs were on display in those black booty shorts, "Technically I can't really answer that because we're not together, but just believe me when I say they would be."

"Okay." I laughed lightly before silence fell upon us once more.

"So.. how did this new trauma chapter end? Assuming not good if you're stargazing with me."

I laughed a little harder, taking in a breath before looking up at all the twinkling stars, some of them becoming blurry as tears welled in my eyes, "You know what I think sometimes? I think that the miscarriage could have happened any day. It could have happened the night before, he could have happened a few days after. It could have happened any day and I could have been with her. But no. It happened on the day I left, the day I decided to go to a party. I wasn't with my girlfriend when she was complaining of her pain, I didn't go to the doctor appointment. I wasn't there for her. Does that make me a bad person?"

Megan looked at me, the gears in her brain turning while she thought of a response. The seconds ticked by as I sniffled, wiping my eyes with the backs of my hands.

"I don't think it makes you a bad person. So you weren't with her one time out of how many times she's been sick? You don't seem like the person to leave someone when they're not their best self. It was one time out of many, you can't be chained at her side. You're your own person."

"I just feel guilty. And then I don't. These were the way the cards were dealt I guess. Fucked up hand." I scoffed.

"You know my dream was to always go to L.A. become a rockstar and live it up with my sister. Now my sister isn't gonna take the deal and everyone is attacking me for going after what I want, for living too fast. I came into college with a heartbreak and found Chloe and got hooked when I didn't want to. I wasn't gonna fall in love, no distractions. But I guess according to Chloe I did nothing but get distracted. Maybe I didn't love her as much as I felt." I continued on.

"What you feel as love, others wouldn't. We all feel love differently. There is no right or wrong way to love someone."

"Abuse isn't love." I countered.

"Okay, true. But you didn't abuse her so you're practically there." She spoke softly, "you're both grieving. Some people need space to do that. You need time to heal, clear your head and if you both love each other, you'll find your way back."

"You really believe that?" I asked, looking into her eyes that looked aesthetically pleasing under the starlight.

"Do you?" The woman asked me. We both stared at each other for a few seconds, minutes maybe before she was the one to break the staring contest.

"Come on, lover girl, let's get some pizza while it's still hot." Megan smiled softly at me. I followed her back into her bedroom where she told me I could put my bag, and then I followed her into the kitchen. She handed me a paper plate and we both dug into the pizza.

We took our plates and sat in the living room, turning on cartoon network and watching the og teen titans. I finished off my pizza and in the middle of the episode I could feel Megan staring at me. I licked the pizza sauce off my thumb and turned and looked at her.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked.

"You'd look good with a nose ring." She said, turning my face towards hers a little more, "You should let me pierce it."

"Seriously?" I asked.

Megan shrugged, "I did mine myself. It could be fun. You could even change your hair color."

"Do something spontaneous because I got my heart broken?" I asked to make sure I understood.

"Basically. I mean this is a new chapter in your life right? I mean you said your sister isn't going to accept the offer but are you?"

I nodded, "Of course I'm gonna accept it."

"Then go into this new chapter with something different. I'm not saying you have to change, but I mean who doesn't love doing something spontaneous because you got your heart broken." Megan smiled and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Alright, sounds fun actually. I trust you to stab me." I giggled.

"That's what I like to hear. By the way you have pizza sauce on your face."

My cheeks flushed in embarrassment and I quickly wiped the sauce off my face before getting up to get some more pizza, "You want another slice, Fox?"

Megan nodded, looking up at me as she handed me her plate, "Thanks bub."

With the plates I headed off into the kitchen and put the pizza on the paper plates.

"So, you got anywhere to stay?" Megan called to me.

I shook my head, "Nope. I might ask Travis if I can crash with him."

"Don't be silly." Megan said, now standing in the kitchen, "You can stay with me, it's not a big deal."

"You really mean that?" I asked.

"Stay as long as you need. I'll even let you drive the lambo." The brunette smirked, grabbing her plate of pizza.

"Really?" My eyes widened excitedly.

"We'll see. Maybe I'll let you drive it to the store."

a/n: not gonna lie i'm kinda liking the vibes between y/n and megan..